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Christmas Past

18 Dec 2009 | By Tinalicious

I’m just sitting here thinking about Christmas, and how different it is now from when I was a kid. I mean, the things kids get today is a far cry from what it was in my increasingly distant youth. Today’s gift lists include things like iPods, Xboxes, cellphones, and flat screen TV’s.  Hmmm…back in the day…you know, the dinosaur age, we were asking for things like record players, Ataris, walkie talkies, and um, there was only one TV in the whole house and cable did not exist, so there’d be no point in asking for a TV!

At any rate, I thought I’d share with you some of my memories of favorite Christmas gifts from Christmas Past.

Barbie’s  Country Camper

BarbieCamperOpen

Now really, isn’t this the only way for Barbie to travel…in her own RV?  It had a popout on the side, and a fold-out table; not to mention sleeping bags, a  tilt-up windshield, and a rooftop luggage rack (no sense in letting all their luggage get in the way of their indoor RV fun!)  There was enough room for friends to come along too. Sometimes Malibu Barbie would come, and sometimes even GI Joe.  You just had to be careful with him though; Joe was a little on the stiff side and did not get along with Ken. And if the two of them had a few beers too many, well, all hell would break loose in that camper!

The Six Million Dollar Man Doll

Bionic

Based on the popular TV show, who wouldn’t want Steve Austin,  The Six Million Dollar Man doll? Not only did he have a hole in the back of his head so you could see through is bionic eye, but he had roll up skin on his bionic arm and legs, so you could see (and remove) his bionic parts! How creepy cool is that?! Besides, he came in handy when Ken and GI Joe were not getting along, because he could totally kick their ass! And even though he did have his very own bionic girlfriend, we all know he was secretly in love with Barbie, so he enjoyed tagging along with her. No wonder she needed an RV.

Electronic Detective

Detective

Now this was a game I got in the early 80′s. You got to be a detective to solve murder mysteries.  Who Done It? It was your job to find out. There were over 130,000 mysteries to solve, and it included all sorts of sound effects too: gun shots, sirens, even the funeral dirge, and more. My best friend and I both wanted to be private detectives when we grew up…so this game was good training, to be sure.  Talk about your hi-tech toys! This was the height of advanced computer logic…OK well, based on computer logic of 1979, when the game was created anyway.

Mork from Ork Egg Ship

Mork

Mork from Ork made his first TV appearance on the hit TV show Happy Days in the late 70′s. Played by the legendary comic, Robin Williams (who was an unknown at the time), his character became such a hit that he got his own TV show: Mork & Mindy. I loved Mork! I couldn’t wait to watch that show each week. It was truly one of my all time faves. One year for Christmas, my grandma and grandpa got all of us these Mork from Ork Egg Ships–because, well, Mork’s mode of travel was indeed an egg ship, what else?! The plastic ship came in two parts, with a 4″ Mork figure inside.  And Shazbot! I loved that thing!

Portable Cassette Tape Player

TapePlayer

Not as old as an 8-track player, but long before CD players (and iPods), there was the cassette player. And if you were really lucky, you also had a portable cassette player, like this red one that I got one year. I was able to not only take this with me to friends’ houses, but I could also record stuff. Talk about old school! Remember those days? If you liked a song on the radio you’d just push your tape recorder up to the radio speaker…really close…and push record, and then you had to remember not to talk or make any other noise while recording or it would be on the tape too and you’d ruin the whole thing! You also had to be sure you had enough space on the tape for all the songs you were recording; but inevitably, at some point, you’d run out of tape…usually just as your favorite song was recording. Ah, the good ole days.

Before I leave, I wanted to share with you the one Christmas present I really, really wanted as a child, but never got.  It’s one of those things you can’t really explain, but you just really want it. So what was it?

StarTrekCommunicators

That’s right: Star Trek Communicators. Yes folks, as a child I was indeed a Trekkie. Space travel. Exploring new worlds. Pointy-eared Vulcans. Hot space ship captains. Yeah, I hear you snickering, but that’s because you thought James T. Kirk (aka William Shatner) was hot too.  Don’t pretend like you didn’t. The Communicators were actually walkie-talkies, and I thought they were the coolest things. The top flipped open and you could talk into it.  I never got them as a child. But oh yeah, the Hubs and I have some now. We call them…cellphones.

Beam me up, Scotty. And Happy Holidays.

Category: Flashback Friday, Have Blog, Will Babble, Remembering  Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,  Leave a Comment

Who’s Who

04 Dec 2009 | By Tinalicious

Apparently, I’m somebody, according to Strathmore’s Who’s Who. I got a letter that confirms this, so hey, it must be true.

It is my pleasure to inform you that your information was reviewed and accepted for inclusion in the 2009 edition. Strathmore’s Who’s Who each year recognizes and selects key executives, professionals, and organizations in all disciplines and industries for outstanding business and professional achievements. Those who have reached a distinguished level of success in their chosen profession share this recognition.

OK, so, not only am I “distinguished,” but I also have “outstanding business and professional achievements.” That’s so interesting! I didn’t know that having a net income of $0 from my business was considered an outstanding business achievement! Holy heck, I’m doing better than I thought!

What’s next? Will Forbes be calling me for the next Fortune 500?!  And surely Oprah will want an interview to extol the merits of my highly tuned business acumen.  Perhaps even The Donald will be calling, wanting some insight from a clearly accomplished business professional.  Like, for real.

That letter from Strathmore made my day. Perhaps I should frame it and hang it on the wall alongside my other nonexistent awards and accolades, so that I can give my name the spotlight it deserves. But wait…what’s this? My name is nowhere on this letter. It’s not addressed to me at all. It says…Dear…Company Owner. Apparently, I’m so distinguished and accomplished that they can’t even address me by name?!

WTH?

What a racket.  I wish I had a dollar for every time I got one of these letters. (Seriously, that would add up to a LOT of money by now!) Yeah, they’re gonna put my name in a book alright. But the only way I’ll see it myself is to buy the damned book, which is, of course, the whole point of the letter.

Do people really fall for this? If so, I am definitely in the wrong business. And let’s not overlook the fact that this letter came…by fax, just as all news of professional accomplishment and achievement should come.

Not.

Gotta give props to the folks at Strathmore though. If they’re making money in this economy with this gimmick, more power to ‘em.  It’s the American way.

Category: WTH?  Tags: , , , ,  One Comment

5 Lessons From an Insomniac

24 Nov 2009 | By Tinalicious

Having struggled with insomnia off and on since I was a teenager (and no, I won’t tell you how long ago I was a teenager), I have found that there are all sorts of lessons to be learned in the wee small hours of the night, or morning, depending upon your point of view. So I thought I’d share of some my arguably insightful pearls of insomniac wisdom.

1. If a startlingly loud and unidentifiable noise can occur in another room, it will happen at precisely the moment when you happen to be watching some spooky bit of paranormal programming on TV and are already in a heightened state of extreme paranoia…and if you’re sipping a beverage at this precise moment, you will end up wearing it too.

2. Paid Programming caters to 3 types of people at 4am: Overweight over-eaters who are in the market for expensive exercise equipment that they cannot afford; older folks who are in search of the one and only beauty cream that will take years off their faces; and those kinky folks who are on the hunt for sex toys, and are surely going to be up at 4am to get the best bargains on lubes and lotions, vibrators and blow-me-up-suck-me-Suzie dolls.

3. Your kitchen floor will only creak when you are tip-toeing into the room to get a snack at 12:30am that you do not need, and don’t necessarily want your husband to know you are getting while he is sleeping in the next room. (Bonus lesson: the creaky floor is actually a great diet aid!)

4. Reading only helps to make you tired if the book sucks. If it’s a good book, you’ll just want to keep reading, and before you know it you’ll be hearing the coffee pot come on and kicking yourself for ever thinking you could just read “one more chapter.”

5. The best sleep aids are reruns of 80′s TV shows that you cannot stand. I personally use The Nanny, Married with Children, and Full House.  You can find at least one of those shows on at almost any time of night. And when all else fails, I just put one of those on and I’m usually asleep in relatively short order.

I’m still not tired. So, I think a bit of channel-surfing is in order. The 80′s are  definitely calling. Night, all.

Category: Have Blog, Will Babble  Tags: , , , , ,  Leave a Comment

To Pay or Not to Pay

26 Oct 2009 | By Tinalicious

That’s the question all right.

The Hubs and I recently switched cell phone carriers. We had one phone left under contract with our old carrier, so we decided to just let the contract run out, rather than pay the $250 cancellation fee–since we’d save a lot of money that way.

Our contract expired on the 7th, so I called the carrier and told them I want to cancel and close the account. No problem, right? Should be easy enough. Well, you know, idiots thrive in this world, and cell phone carriers are no exception. They tell me that they will close my account…at the end of my billing cycle date, which is the 22nd. So basically, I have to keep my account, for a phone I haven’t used in about three months, for another 2 weeks. OK. Fine, I tell them. And I figured we were done. But,  no.

First they want to share with me all the great offers I should take advantage of, now that my phone is paid off. I should get the pay-as-you-go plan, so that I can use the phone as a back up, if I need to. Or I should get a new monthly calling package and just start fresh with them. Well, um, “I already have a phone with another carrier,” I say. I don’t want to pay to have a “back up” phone,  nor do I wish to start over with them, thank you very much.  (Do they even live in the same economy that I do?!) So fine, they say that I’ll get my final bill soon after my regular billing cycle ends.

So yesterday I get the bill via email. And how much is it for? .01. That’s right, ONE CENT! And this is where I’m thinking, are you freaking kidding me? They are sending me a bill for a penny? WTH? Well, after much consideration, I’ve decided I have 3 options.

1. Print out the payment page, tape a penny to it, and mail them the bill with a carefully worded letter about the inanity of sending someone a bill for one cent. But you know, that would cost me .44 cents, not to mention I’d have to print out the bill and waste an envelope. This economy has taught me to be quite cheap frugal, if nothing else, so this is a less than ideal choice.

2. Ignore the bill all together, and wait to see how long it takes them to turn me over to collections FOR ONE CENT! You know they’d do it, right? They sooo would! This is America, after all, land of the free-for-alls and home of the seedy bill collectors. This is actually a plausible option though, if you think about it. When you send someone to collections, the collections agency gets at least half the money you are due, so basically the cell phone carrier would end up with about half of a cent. I’d love that! But not at the expense of my credit report, I don’t think.  So probably not worth it.

3. Use my online banking to send them a payment of  .02 cents. And why  .02 cents? Because if I send them .02 cents, they will have to refund me the overpayment, which would be .01 cent.  And since the cost of postage is .44 cents, they will actually lose money by sending me a refund check.  I’ll get my .01 cent overpayment back, but they will have just spent .44 cents to send it to me.

So yeah, I’m gonna go with option 3. They’ll get their one cent, but it’s gonna cost them to get it.  Just a little vindication for all the dropped calls, out-of-service times, and lack of carryover minutes we endured over the course of the last 4 years!

Sometimes, revenge is truly sweet.

Category: WTH?  Tags: , , ,  One Comment

Can You Hear Me Now, From Aisle 5?

10 Oct 2009 | By Tinalicious

Is it just me, or is there a new breed of shoppers at the local grocery store? You know the ones I mean, right? They’re pushing their cart, they’re grabbing some Funyuns, they’re changing their mind about their bologna, and shoving it onto a shelf next to the paper plates while making sure no one is watching…all the while chatting incessantly to their BFF…on their cell phone.

Since when did talking on the phone while grocery shopping become the chic  thing to do?! As if dealing with self-involved shoppers who drive their cart down the aisle like they’re the only ones in the entire store isn’t bad enough, no no. Now we have to put up with them screeching and hollering into their cell phone to boot. And are they blocking your access to the Pop Tarts? Well, uh, sorry, you’re going to have to hope and pray for a dropped call before it would even occur to them to get out of your way.

Whatever happened to the good old days, when going to the grocery store meant that the rudest thing you had to put up with was someone who was willing to arm wrestle you for the very last package of Buy One Get One Free 12 Roll Packs of toilet paper? Those days are long gone, my friend. Yesiree. Now they’ll not only arm wrestle you, but they’ll give the play-by-play of the whole scene to that BFF on the other end of the phone call, and they’ll be referring to you in less than flattering terms, as if you aren’t even standing just twelve inches away from them while they do it.

Don’t get me wrong, I think cell phones are great. And I will admit to having called the Hubs a time or two from the grocery store, asking if we need one gallon of milk or two. But I sure as heck don’t spend countless minutes chattering on and on about mindless drivel, completely oblivious to my own volume level, and all at the expense and annoyance of the rest of the shoppers, who clearly just want to get their groceries and go home.

Seriously. What is wrong with people? If you want to chat up your best friend while shopping, here’s an idea: bring them with you! Get in some real, quality, one-on-one face time, and get your shopping done all at the same time.  {They call that multi-tasking, I believe.} And then the real bonus is, the rest of us won’t have to hear you yelling into your cell phone, to your BFF, “Can you hear me now, from aisle 5?!”

Category: Things I Don't Understand  Tags: , , , , ,  Leave a Comment
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