Monday, July 1, 2013

Please Pull Over, Mister

Let me start this post by saying, unequivocally, that I love my husband. Some might say I even adore him on a good day. He's my love, my friend, my hero, and the never ending totter to my teeter.

Brad Pitt Gif

Brad Pitt Grr Gif


Friday evening was just such a time.

The Hubs and me (and yes I'm aware of the grammar error here--I'm acting the linguistic rebel today) were driving home from the store and the Hubs was waiting for a call from someone, and he had a list of questions standing by that he wanted to ask when he got the call. So finally the phone rings and he answers the phone.

OK, so he's driving with one hand, with his phone in the other, and he needs that list of questions. So what does he do?

He switches his phone to the other ear, grabs the paper with his free hand, and then there's just the small matter of...

how to hold that pesky steering wheel!

Method of the Hubs' choice? His knee. Yes, you heard me. His KNEE. And it's like he's completely oblivious to the clear and present danger of DRIVING WITH NO HANDS!

WTH?

What's Wrong With You Reaction Gif


So, in the calmest voice I can muster, I say to the Hubs, "Please pull over, Mister."

And as he begins to do so, he's telling the caller, "Hold on a sec, the wife is freaking out because I'm on the phone."

Um, wait just a freaking minute there, fella. The wife is not "freaking out" because you're "on the phone."

She is freaking out because you have a phone in one hand and a piece of paper in the other--which you are reading from as you steer the car with you freaking knee!

Earth to man, hello, is anyone home? Because I'd like to arrive there alive and in one piece! I think my "freaking out" is totally justified under the circumstances. I also think that driving with at least one hand on the steering wheel is somewhat of a good idea. Call me crazy, but I'm thinking that's kind of a law or something.

Needless to say, we did survive the no-handed-driving-while-talking-on-the-phone ordeal. And I got a blog post out of it, and an excuse to use a Brad Pitt gif to express my feelings about the incident in question. So all in all, I guess it was a worthwhile experience in the end. Pretty much.