Archive for the Category »Have Blog, Will Babble «

How Do You Spell Glasses

19 Mar 2010 | By Tinalicious

I was watching my grandson, Dylan the other day. He’s 6-1/2, BTW and one of the lights of my life. He’s in Kindergarten, and he’s learning to read. Now first of all, go back and read that last sentence: He’s in Kindergarten, and he’s learning how to read. The fact that this little guy, whose diapers I was changing just yesterday (or so it seems…and wasn’t I just changing his mother’s diapers just yesterday too? How the hell old AM I?!), is learning to read just boggles the mind.

When I was in Kindergarten, I was learning how to tie my shoes,  say “please” and “thank you,” and play nicely with others,  all skills I still use today, mind you. But seriously, my report card did not say anything about reading. Reading??? WTH?! Moving on…

I was helping Dylan with his homework, something I do each week, since Grandma apparently has more patience than Mommy does. No biggie though, because I love to spend time with my not-so-little-anymore grandson.  Anyhoots…Dylan has started to read a short “book” each week (you know, the photocopied-and-folded-in-half-and-then-stapled variety of book), and then he has to write a sentence about it. OK, for real. Hold the phone. He has to read a book AND write a sentence? This is hardcore for Kindergarten, don’t you think?  Sheesh.

Part of Dylan’s process of reading is sounding out letters (you gotta love Phonics, don’tcha?!). So he does this a lot whenever he sees words he does not know. He was doing it while reading his little book and doing a great job.  Quite impressive what a Kindergarten kiddo can do these days. ..compared to, you know, the Old Days.

So, once we were finished with his book and sentence, we took a TV break , natch. And there are always words on TV, especially on commercials. Dylan can’t always read them because they often disappear before he finishes sounding them out. But on this day, he managed to see the word,  GLASSES And naturally, he begins to sound it out.

Ggg–Lll

He paused because the word disappeared when the commercial went away. Then he asked me, “how do you spell glasses, Grandma?”

I told him, G-L-A-S-S-E-S.  So he started sounding it out again. I’d tell him the letter, and he would sound it out.

Ggg–Lll–Aaaah

He was doing great…

Ggg–Lll–ASSES….GLASSES!

“Is that right, grandma? Ggg and Llll and ASSES?”

“Yes, honey,” I replied. “Ggg and Lll and ASSES sure does spell GLASSES.”

Help grandson read a book? Check.

Help grandson write  a sentence? Check.

Help grandson say ASSES, (in GLASSES, of course). Uh, Check.

I think my work here is done.

Category: Brag Book, Have Blog, Will Babble, WTH?  Tags: , , ,  Leave a Comment

The Flies of March

10 Mar 2010 | By Tinalicious

So I was sitting on the couch the other night, watching TV with the Hubs. OK, well, I was actually semi-watching the Oscars. During the awards that I don’t really care anything about (does the entire planet really need to know who did the best sound editing or makeup?), I was surfing the Web on my laptop. Let’s face it: the Oscars telecast is far too long. And even though I’ve been watching the Oscars ever since I was a little girl, the older I get, the less patience I have for a 3-hour show.  It could be shortened to an hour or less if they would just televise the best actors/actresses and film awards.  Or at least save all of those awards for the last hour, then I’d just tune in for the end. But, I’m sure they need all the extra advertising dollars to pay for the sparkling sets, the unnecessary dazzling dance numbers,  and the coveted, shimmering statuettes, so they’re never going to cut the show down to a tolerable length. So be it.

Anyhoots, as I was sitting there surfing away, I saw something out of the corner of my eye. I asked the Hubs if he just saw something, and he said, no. Bear in mind, this is the same guy who can see a hawk flying high up in the sky…from inside a moving car…on a rainy day, and yet he can’t see something that I just saw in the house. Whatever.

I know I saw something. My first thought was that it was a fly. But it’s March. And yeah, it was a nice, spring-like sunny day, but there is still some snow outside my house, melting though it may be.  So, with all logic and common sense in place,  I dismissed the idea that I had just seen a fly and went back to my laptop Web adventures.

But then I saw it again. Up by the ceiling fan. Sure enough. It was a fly.

I’ll say it again, it’s March. Too early for flies in the house, in my twisted opinion. But as puzzlingly disturbing as that is to me, I decided to just ignore the Musca domestica Linnaeus (that’s the scientific name for “house fly” BTW…I totally looked it up on my laptop) and get back to some serious surfing and semi-Oscar-watching.

But then I saw it again. Right there. On my keyboard. The fly.

I turned to the Hubs and not so subtly made him aware of my unwelcome laptop hitchhiker by yelling, “the fly is on my damn keyboard…gimme something to kill it with.” The Hubs just laughed as he looked around, befuddled. I could tell what he was thinking. Shall I just pull a flyswatter out of my butt?

So it was all up to me. With my deft physical agility and my ninja-like reflexes [insert laughter here], I took my one and only shot at the winged menace staring up at me from the keyboard…taunting me.

S-M-A-C-K

Dead Fly

“I got him!” I told the Hubs. He just laughed as I stared at the fly carcass laying there on my keyboard. He had it coming. If he’d stayed up on the ceiling fan, that fly would probably still be alive to pester me today. Landing on my laptop was his choice, and his final, fatal one at that.

May he rest in peace.

DISCLAIMER: While a fly was harmed and killed before making this blog post, he was not harmed and killed for the sole purpose of making this blog post. That would just be wrong.

Tina Siggy

Category: Have Blog, Will Babble, The Hubs and Me  Tags: , ,  Leave a Comment

Random Rantics and Murphy’s Law

16 Feb 2010 | By Tinalicious

Just some things I feel like ranting about…things you can probably attribute to Murphy’s Law, or something equally as sinister.

Why is it that as soon as you finish spending over an hour shoveling your sidewalks, driveway and patio areas, it starts snowing again…and even harder than it did before? And you know darn well that if you had waited to do the shoveling, it wouldn’t have snowed again at all. What is that about?

I hate washing my car because doing it myself is a giant pain (so I don’t) and going through the car wash is so, you know, strenuous…or at least expensive. So I don’t do it often. But when I do, you can bet your bottom dollar–or mine, more like–that it will rain within a half an hour. There are 365 days in a year, and I probably get my car washed on 3 of those days. You’d think that the odds would be a little bit more in my favor. Come on, Mother Nature, show some pity!

Why can I go the whole day sometimes without the phone ringing, but then as soon as I sit down to eat dinner, that damn phone will ring. And who is it? A telemarketer, of course. You know what, Mr. Too-Lame-To-Get-A-Real-Job-So-You-Harass-Folks-On-The-Phone-Instead? Interrupting my dinner, which I have so carefully and almost lovingly prepared for the Hubs and myself, and pissing me off in the process, is not really the best way to get a potential commission.  Here’s an idea: how’s about you give me your phone number, and I’ll call you back when you’re at home eating? Better yet, how about I wait until you are nestled in your comfy bed, sleeping off the remnants of the crappy karma that your job generates on a daily basis, and then I call you, eh? A-hole.

How come people have to put music players on their websites? Do they really think I enjoy surfing, landing on their site, and then having the c-r-a-p scared out of me by their music as it comes blaring out of my speakers? Just because they like the music, does not mean that everyone else will.  And I personally do not like the sticky goo that now covers my monitor, caused by the too-numerous-to-count times that I have been jerked out of my seat at loud website music, resulting in the uncontrollable projectile spitting out of my  favorite beverage. {OK, there’s not really goo on my monitor, but there could be. And my point is still valid regardless. } Here’s a tip to all the annoying website music lovers out there. You can listen to music without making us listen to music. You don’t have to hijack our speakers and bombard us with your favorite ditties (did I just say, ditties?!).  Just turn on your stereo or ipod, or flop a CD into your computer.  Turn it up. Go crazy. But leave the rest of us to listen to our own music, if and when we choose to. Our PC monitors  will thank you.

And one more for the road…not only does this one baffle me, it seriously makes me question the future of humanity. (All right, I might be exaggerating, just a little.) One of my husband’s business bills came the other day; it’s for a credit card on which he purchases materials for customer jobs. Nothing amiss, just a typical bill, or so I thought…until a few days later, another something arrived in the mail from that company. Inside were the coupons that were mistakenly left out of the invoice mailing, along with a letter explaining that they’d apparently neglected to include their regular coupons with their monthly invoice.  So let me see if I have got this straight. They generated and printed a letter, stuck it in an envelope, along with the missing coupons, and affixed postage and sent it on to us with their sincerest apologizes for this incredible oversight on their behalf.  Apparently the crappy economy isn’t affecting those idiots at all. How much did it cost, I wonder, for them to send out this missing coupon mailing to who knows how many people? Guess I see now where our credit card interest is going. Sheesh.

Here’s to you, Murphy, or your evil twin, as the case may be.

Tina Siggy

Category: Have Blog, Will Babble, Rantics  Tags: ,  Leave a Comment

Revamped the Blog

09 Feb 2010 | By Tinalicious

What can I say, I was bored with the look of Tinalicious and decided it was time for a redo. So I guess now it’s only fair to call the blog, Tinalicious 2.o? Hope you will stop by and take a peek.

I also wanted to share a funny little tidbit from the world of grandparenthood as well. My grandson, Dylan spent the night recently, which he doesn’t do so often anymore so it’s a treat when he does. Anyhoots, he needed a bath so I got him in my tub. This is something he really enjoys, because, well, I have a really big tub.  I also have a TV at the foot of the tub, and I’m sure the ability to bathe while watching Sponge Bob has a little something to do with his sudden affection for bath time at gramma’s house.  And FYI: Sponge Bob can be equally entertaining to bathing adults. Just sayin.

So he was in the tub and I decided to brush my teeth. So I’m brushing away when I hear him giggling repeatedly. I looked myself up and down to make sure that I was not the subject of his prolonged amusement, and I couldn’t find anything amiss (nothing out of the ordinary anyway). And just about the time I finished the rinse and spit routine in the sink, he finally enlightens me.

“Gramma, gramma…guess what? I can make my own bubbles. Watch.”

Can you guess where this is going, folks? Sure enough, Dylan has discovered that age-old practice of farting in the bathtub, which naturally creates bubbles…albeit temporary ones.  I couldn’t help but laugh as he beamed at his new-found discovery.  From the sound of his giggles echoing through the bathroom, I’d say this was the highlight of his day….and mine.

Face it: sometimes, farts are funny. Admit it. Come on.

I hear you laughing.

Category: Brag Book, Have Blog, Will Babble  Tags: , ,  2 Comments

The Germ Factory

29 Jan 2010 | By Tinalicious

Once I get about this far into Winter…you know, when it’s so cold outside that even the inside of the freezer feels like a trip to the Bahamas (OK, so I’m exaggerating)…I start to become obsessively-compulsively aware of what a giant germ factory we live in.

Germs are flying, floating, and crawling everywhere this time of year. If we’re not trying to prevent them, we’re either trying to battle them with every manner of pharmacological warfare at our disposal, or we’re on the ever so prolonged road to recovery.

I admit it: I have issues with germs. But my personal pet peeves about germs and bacteria have less to do with the little bugs themselves, and more to do with people’s ignorance about how to prevent the spread of their nasty germs to the rest of us innocent bystanders. It never ceases to amaze me how people wantonly infect perfectly healthy friends and strangers alike, simply because they are too stupid or too apathetic to prevent it.

Here’s a perfect example. The Hubs and I went to our favorite Chinese Buffet this evening for dinner. I’ll admit, I tend to avoid buffets this time of year for the very reasons noted above. I mean, if you really stop and think about the number of germs that are lingering on the buffet utensils alone, it would be enough to make you stay home. (Or, at least, it should be.)

Just picture if you will the person who was down with a nasty, gut-wrenching two-day stomach virus–who couldn’t even keep down a glass of water up until 8 hours ago–cruising through the buffet tables in front of you, touching every single utensil as he fills his plate. Do you really want to load up your plate using those same utensils? Is the all-you-can-eat fried rice really that important to you?!  And will you still think so when it’s coming back up tomorrow? I think not. (BTW, this is precisely why I travel with anti-bacterial sanitizer, and I use it liberally when I eat at buffet places; it may not be fool-proof, but it’s better than nothing.)

And then there’s the lady I observed at the buffet this evening. She had a full plate in her left hand, and was getting another plate to fill. She looked at the 6 stacks of plates. She took her right hand and rubbed it around the surface of the plate on the first stack. But she doesn’t take that. No, she repeats this plate-rubbing on the top plate of the next stack. She did this three times, until she finally found a plate that was acceptable. WTH?! Not only do I wonder if she was sick yesterday (I guess the people who ended up taking the plates she touched will find out soon enough), but I am willing to bet that this twit is also a habitual  double-dipper at parties. Chips and Dip, anyone? Sheesh.

The simple truth is that probably half of the people who get sick each year, if not more, could avoid the illness all together with just an ounce (hell, even an iota!) of prevention on the part of the folks who go around carelessly infecting the rest of us.  So here are a few tips on how to keep your germs to yourself. And if you already know these things, perhaps you should share this blog post with those who live in the land of infectious ignorance and bacterial bliss.

  1. Wash your hands. Seriously. Germs can’t swim, so drown the little suckers. It’s the one form of murder that is totally acceptable, and even encouraged. Use soap, warm water, and do it for 20, count ‘em, 20 seconds! You should be washing for the amount of time it would take you to sing the entire “Happy Birthday” song. Go ahead and sing. Get your groove on. No one’s listening.
  2. Cough and sneeze into your elbow. Yes, I said your ELBOW. If you use your hand, you’re gonna touch something, and probably before you wash your hands. And I don’t want it to be my hand that you’re touching, or my coffee mug, or my door handle! But if you do use your hand, see #1.
  3. If you are sick, STAY HOME. Clearly you did not wash your hands enough and you got somebody else’s bug, so stay home and keep your germs to yourself.  And I prescribe some chicken soup, and one complete viewing of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. That ought to make you feel better in no time.
  4. If your kids are sick, then keep them home too.  Do you want the next epidemic in your child’s school on your shoulders?! Of course not. And while they’re home, this would be a good time to practice hand-washing and the proper form of  coughing and sneezing.
  5. Don’t touch your face. This is an important one, and all too often overlooked. Germs get into your system in one of three ways: your eyes, or your nose, or your mouth. If you touch a germ-ridden surface, and then, say, rub your eyes, or scratch your nose, or (ew) lick your finger…what’s going to happen? Anyone, anyone, Bueller?  Yeah, I think you get the idea.

While I do accept the fact that I cannot prevent all illnesses, it sure as hell won’t be for lack of trying.  That doesn’t make me a germ-o-phobe, as much as some people might like to think. Frankly, if that were true, I wouldn’t even leave my house. I’m simply cautious, for one very simple reason: I DON’T LIKE BEING SICK! Do you? I didn’t think so. So I arm myself with my arsenal of preventive wisdom, and a little hand sanitizer, and I greet the world each day saying…

Welcome to the Germ Factory.

Category: Have Blog, Will Babble, Rantics, Things I Don't Understand  Tags: , ,  2 Comments
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