Archive for the Category »WTH? «

Glue Tubes Suck

16 Jul 2010 | By Tinalicious

OK, so here is what I discovered is a pet peeve of mine, and that irked me so much I had to go all bloggy about it:

Glue Tubes Suck!

I can’t be the only one who has encountered this problem. You buy a tube of expensive glue and use it for a special project. You put it away when you’re finished, to use at a later date. But when said later date arrives and you try to use the tube of expensive glue, you can’t, because it’s clogged. WTH?!

The offending glue tube in my case is E-6000.

E6000This stuff is billed as “industrial strength adhesive;” it’s also something that many crafters use because it is supposed to work so darn well…which is why I bought it. At $4 for a tube. This is despite the fact that it states clearly on the package that it contains chemicals that are known to cause cancer in the state of California. Well, hey, lucky me, I don’t live in California! So I should be safe enough, no?

Ahem.

And yeah, it is a good, strong glue. Looks all pretty in the package, too does it not? The marketing team has done an excellent job on its packaging too. We know that it’s Flexible, Waterproof, Non-flammable, and Photo Safe, and all of these things are very important to wanton craft addicts like myself. But what it should also say on the tube is this:

Will clog after first use, rendering the tube unusable,
and the consumer pissed off and $4 poorer!

And then it should also have a picture of how the tube will look after you’ve spent half an hour trying to unclog it, causing it to become all wrinkly and misshapen, and so cracked at the sides that the glue begins to ooze out of it all over your hands and your craft project, so that you have to wrap it with masking tape to get it to stop.

E6000 After

And don’tcha find it funny how the top of the tube says, Amazing?! Yeah, it’s amazing, all right. Amazing that I spent $4 on it. Amazing that it clogged after the first use. Amazing that I actually devoted a half an hour of my life trying to get it unclogged. Amazing that wrapping it with lightweight masking tape actually stopped this industrial strength, cancer-causing-to-Californians adhesive from oozing completely out of the tube and creating a sticky puddle on my work space. And equally amazing that I just spent another half an hour of my life creating this blog post about it.

Yep. That’s pretty amazing.

Tina Siggy

Category: Have Blog, Will Babble, Rantics, WTH?  Tags: , , ,  8 Comments

Cats and Squirrels and Rubik’s Cube

12 May 2010 | By Tinalicious

Cat Rubik's Cube

As someone who grew up when the Rubik’s Cube craze was at its peak, I can appreciate the humor in this week’s Wordless Wednesday photo. Admit it, you giggled, just a little. But if you didn’t, then perhaps this classic web wonder might do the trick…

Squirrel Nuts

Are you laughing now?

Enjoy your Hump Day!

Tina Siggy

Category: Remembering, WTH?, Wordless Wednesday  Tags: , ,  Leave a Comment

Date Night at the Asian Buffet

08 May 2010 | By Tinalicious

So it’s Friday, and you know what that means for the Hubs and me: Date Night (aka dinner and the grocery store). It’s a nearly 26 year ritual.

{We’re nothing if not predictable consistent.}

The restaurant choices around town are not that exciting, which is proven by the fact that most of our residents consider the local Applebee’s to be fine dining. Ahem. So when we want something different, we usually hit the Asian Buffet. How can you lose with all you can eat Fried Rice, Tacos, and Crab Legs, all in one place?! Now that is exciting! But hey, it doesn’t stop there. Nosiree. We had all sorts of excitement this evening at the Asian Buffet.

First up, and never a surprise at any restaurant in this town, it was COLD in there.  Why are restaurants always so damn cold? In the winter, I literally have to eat with my coat on for the entire meal. And this time of year, I simply want to eat with my coat on for the entire meal. What gives anyway? Doesn’t this defeat the purpose of serving supposedly hot food to customers? It ain’t gonna stay hot for long when it feels like it’s 60 degrees in there, people! And if their plan is that making me cold will somehow make me want to spend more money, well, their plan fails miserably on every single dining excursion. Being cold makes me want to leave, and nothing more. So, note to restaurant owners: turn the A/C down, folks, and with the money you save, maybe you can finally afford some real Sweet-n-Low, instead of that pathetic pink impostor you think people don’t notice is a crappy cheap substitute for the real deal.

Next, we were unfortunate enough to be seated right behind a family with one of “those” children. You know the ones I mean, right? The ones who are constantly standing up in the booth, turned around to look at you, and making all sorts of noise. But we can’t really blame the munchkin-sized terrorists children for their behavior, now can we? When they’re bouncing up and down in the booth, dropping food over the edge, or repeatedly asking, “what is her name, what is her name, what is her name?” it’s not really their fault, is it?

I’m thinking, I’m thinking…

OK, no, it’s the parents’ fault. Because they are the ones in charge of their child’s behavior, no? So what does this far-cry-from-mother-of-the-year-parent do?  She tells the kid in some sickly, sugary sweet tone, “Kyle, sit down…time to turn around and sit down.” She must have said that 4 times in under 5 minutes, with the same conviction I’d use if I was trying to get my grandson to eat some broccoli (no really, honey, it’s good, try it, you’ll love it!). And I guarantee you what the child actually heard is, “Kyle, you can sit down if you want, but I’m not gonna do anything if you don’t, because I really don’t care, so please continue to harass the couple behind you while I finish my egg roll.”

WTH?

I’m just gonna say it, and you can lambaste me if you want to: Some people should NOT procreate. Send in the flaming arrows. Go ahead. I’m ready.

OK, and I also need to talk about the wait staff at the Asian Buffet. I seriously think they have Ninja training or something, because they move in so swiftly, from seemingly out of nowhere, and then they are gone just as quickly. No sooner have you eaten the last crumb of food from your plate than they are sweeping in to take said dirty plate away. Tonight, the Hubs had just put his last bite of food in his mouth and his fork was still in hand and in a downward motion, when our waitress swooped in and grabbed the plate just as the fork touched down. And then she was out of sight. Ninja skills. Seriously.

Finally, after enduring the cold, and the noisy display of bad parenting seated behind us, we finished our meal and awaited our parting gifts: the fortune cookies. I mean really, who doesn’t love fortune cookies? OK well, we don’t, but we do love opening our fortunes. When the ninja waitress returned with our cookies, there was just one slight problem though. We each got a fortune cookie package, but one looked like this:

Fortune Cookie Package

For real…it was totally empty! I don’t know about you, but I’m thinking that is some sort of karmic message or something. Hmmm, so either our future is empty…or maybe it’s just our bank account. We don’t exactly need Confucius to tell us that, now do we?

The Hubs did get a replacement fortune cookie, and his fortune was (as is often the case, in my experience) not a fortune at all. I mean, isn’t it supposed to tell you something about the future?  But they never really seem to do that. His fortune was just a blatant rip off of the Golden Rule…do unto others, etc etc. That is not a fortune, if you ask me. That’s just common sense. And a lesson learned…from good parenting.

But anyhoots…I got a fortune too. And at least mine was funny.

Fortune

(Click to Enlarge)

You are the crispy noodle in the vegetarian salad of life.

And guess what? I totally agree. I don’t wanna toot my own horn or anything, but I  AM the crispy noodle in the vegetarian salad of life.

(And I’m Tinalicious too.) *wink*

Take care all, and Happy Mother’s Day to all the other crispy noodles in the world.

Tina Siggy

Category: Have Blog, Will Babble, Rantics, WTH?  Tags: , , , , , ,  Leave a Comment

How Do You Spell Glasses

19 Mar 2010 | By Tinalicious

I was watching my grandson, Dylan the other day. He’s 6-1/2, BTW and one of the lights of my life. He’s in Kindergarten, and he’s learning to read. Now first of all, go back and read that last sentence: He’s in Kindergarten, and he’s learning how to read. The fact that this little guy, whose diapers I was changing just yesterday (or so it seems…and wasn’t I just changing his mother’s diapers just yesterday too? How the hell old AM I?!), is learning to read just boggles the mind.

When I was in Kindergarten, I was learning how to tie my shoes,  say “please” and “thank you,” and play nicely with others,  all skills I still use today, mind you. But seriously, my report card did not say anything about reading. Reading??? WTH?! Moving on…

I was helping Dylan with his homework, something I do each week, since Grandma apparently has more patience than Mommy does. No biggie though, because I love to spend time with my not-so-little-anymore grandson.  Anyhoots…Dylan has started to read a short “book” each week (you know, the photocopied-and-folded-in-half-and-then-stapled variety of book), and then he has to write a sentence about it. OK, for real. Hold the phone. He has to read a book AND write a sentence? This is hardcore for Kindergarten, don’t you think?  Sheesh.

Part of Dylan’s process of reading is sounding out letters (you gotta love Phonics, don’tcha?!). So he does this a lot whenever he sees words he does not know. He was doing it while reading his little book and doing a great job.  Quite impressive what a Kindergarten kiddo can do these days. ..compared to, you know, the Old Days.

So, once we were finished with his book and sentence, we took a TV break , natch. And there are always words on TV, especially on commercials. Dylan can’t always read them because they often disappear before he finishes sounding them out. But on this day, he managed to see the word,  GLASSES And naturally, he begins to sound it out.

Ggg–Lll

He paused because the word disappeared when the commercial went away. Then he asked me, “how do you spell glasses, Grandma?”

I told him, G-L-A-S-S-E-S.  So he started sounding it out again. I’d tell him the letter, and he would sound it out.

Ggg–Lll–Aaaah

He was doing great…

Ggg–Lll–ASSES….GLASSES!

“Is that right, grandma? Ggg and Llll and ASSES?”

“Yes, honey,” I replied. “Ggg and Lll and ASSES sure does spell GLASSES.”

Help grandson read a book? Check.

Help grandson write  a sentence? Check.

Help grandson say ASSES, (in GLASSES, of course). Uh, Check.

I think my work here is done.

Category: Brag Book, Have Blog, Will Babble, WTH?  Tags: , , ,  Leave a Comment

Wanna Screw?

14 Jan 2010 | By Tinalicious

Now before you go and get your undies in a bunch, let me assure you that you should not take my post title literally. I’m only out to entertain, not to offend. ;o) So let us begin…

I was sitting at my desk, minding my own business (literally, I do have online businesses that I must mind on a daily basis), when whom should appear in my doorway? OK, yes, there’s only one other person that lives in this house, so logic alone would dictate that it was most likely the Hubs. He was smiling, and leaning up against the door frame in his usual I’m-just-here-to-make-my-presence-known sort of way.

We chit-chatted for a moment, in our typical old married couple  brand of shorthand.  No need for small talk, right?

He said: Hey

I said: What?

(Let’s face it: after 25 years of marriage, we can cut through most of the B.S. that couples of a younger generation so aptly call “conversation.”  As if.)

So then he says:  Guess what I did today?

Again, my succinct and ever so appropriate reply: What?

And then he holds up his hand, which clearly is adorned with a freshly adhered band-aid, and wiggles his fingers. So I’m thinking, he must have gotten a splinter, or perhaps cut himself on something, or any other number of infinite possibilities when you’re talking about a man who does plumbing and construction for a living.

But he says: I drilled a screw….into…my….finger.

Now as I’m picking my lower lip up off the floor, the Hubs proceeds to tell me that he not only drilled a screw…into his finger…but he drove it almost all the way in. And at this point, thinking that this story could certainly get no worse  and in no way more disgusting (that was, as always, a lapse in my own judgment—it can always get worse!), well…

He says: It was really hard to get out too; I had to…unscrew it…all the way out!

Now he is standing there, smiling, through this entire narrative, people…calm as a cucumber and seemingly pleased as punch. While I, on the other hand, have covered my mouth with my hand, developed a severe case of the heebie jeebies, and seriously considered emptying the contents of my quivering stomach into the nearest trash receptacle!

It’s the visual that kills me…the one I get in my head as he tells me the story, the one where I see him unscrewing a screw from the depth of his bleeding finger. It’s G-R-O-S-S!

And that’s the point. That’s why he’s smiling. For the effect that the story has on me.  Just picture him: he has the screw in his hand. He’s holding it up, and smiling at me. It just gives a whole new meaning to the phrase…

Wanna Screw?

And just as a final aside, after I typed that phrase, I decided to click on my Ask Edward widget while that question was still in my head (seemed appropriate at the time). Know what his reply was?

Keep dreaming. Not if I live a hundred thousand years.

Seriously, Edward. You know how to hurt a gal. Maybe it’s time I switched to Team Jacob.

Category: The Hubs and Me, WTH?  Tags: , ,  Leave a Comment
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