You know, there are a lot of big name celebrities today who got their start (or at least got their best initial exposure) on 80’s TV shows.  In many cases, the roles these stars had were small, but they sure launched some Titanic-sized careers. Here are my Flashback Friday picks for 5 of the best breakout stars of 80’s TV.

Tom Hanks on Bosom Buddies

Seriously, who can forget the TV show that brought us the two guys who had to dress like women to live in an all female apartment building to have an affordable place to live. Yes, really!

Kip Wilson and his alter ego Buffy Wilson were played by Tom Hanks. His friend Henry Desmond and his alter ego Hildegarde were played by Peter Scolari.  Buffy and Hildegarde were supposed to be Kip and Henry’s sisters.  Quite the striking resemblance to their siblings, to be sure. The show only lasted a few seasons, but it sparked a really BIG career for Tom Hanks.

George Clooney on Facts of Life

I used to love the Facts of Life, the show about the all girls boarding school. Who can forget miss perfect snooty, Blair;  the tomboy, Jo, who loved to give Blair a hard time; cutie Miss Tooty, who spent a lot of time on roller skates in the first season or two; and the funny girl we all loved, Natalie. I was a teenager, and they were teenagers, so of course I loved them.

I also loved the first time I saw the handyman character, George  Burnett (who didn’t appear until a later season), who was played by none other than future Oscar winner, George Clooney. His role was fairly minimal, only making occasional appearances. But hey, he got noticed (and I don’t mean by just me). He later appeared on Roseanne and that little medical drama, what was it called? Oh yeah, ER. And the rest, as they say, is history.

Leonardo DiCaprio on Growing Pains

Growing Pains is known for launching the career, and teen heartthrob status, of its teen star, Kirk Cameron (brother of Candace Cameron, one of the stars of the 80’s show, Full House). But it also gave a helping hand to a then up-and-comer with a very long name: Leonardo DiCaprio.

Leo’s character, Luke Brower, didn’t appear until the show’s 7th season. He was a complete unknown at the time. The show had sank in the ratings by this time, and Leo’s character was an attempt to give it a jump start. It didn’t work for the show, but hey, it worked for Leo. He went on to star in (need I say it?) Titanic, and while that ship sank too, the movie sure didn’t. And Leo’s film career has been sailing on ever since.

Johnny Depp on 21 Jump Street

I think I have to be one of the few people who didn’t watch 21 Jump Street. Not sure why I didn’t watch it, but I definitely knew of the show, and of one of its stars in particular, Johnny Depp. You kind of had to be living under a rock not to know about that show and its stars. Their faces were all over the place.

The show was a police drama, about young looking police officers, who went undercover to investigate crimes in high schools and other teen hangouts. There wasn’t much undercover about Depp’s career though, which this show helped to catapult. He also became a teen idol, which he apparently detested being, so he left  after the 4th season. Depp has appeared in a lot of movies since then, but he didn’t win my heart until he became Captain Jack Sparrow in Pirates of the Caribbean. Come on, who doesn’t love a pirate? Savvy?

Bruce Willis on Moonlighting

Before he was kicking ass on Die Hard, before he was saving the world in Armageddon, before he was Unbreakable, Bruce Willis was my favorite PI in the 80’s show,  Moonlighting.

Bruce played David Addison, who partners up with Maddie Hayes, played by Cybill Shepherd; she is a former model and owner of the agency. She was swindled by her investment adviser, who took off with all her money and left her with only the detective agency. I think the show was good because of the chemistry between David and Maddie, which is kind of funny, considering that at the time, rumor had it the two of them couldn’t really stand each other in real life. But you know what they say, there’s a fine line between love and hate, and the show worked great until the two characters finally consummated their relationship. Not long after, the show pretty much dissolved into TV nothingness. But hey, Bruce’s moonlighting days are long over. I’d say he’s made a pretty good name for himself. And rumor has it that Die Hard 5 is coming to a theater near you in 2012. Yippee-ki-yay, mother f****r!

Just some things I feel like ranting about…things you can probably attribute to Murphy’s Law, or something equally as sinister.

Why is it that as soon as you finish spending over an hour shoveling your sidewalks, driveway and patio areas, it starts snowing again…and even harder than it did before? And you know darn well that if you had waited to do the shoveling, it wouldn’t have snowed again at all. What is that about?

I hate washing my car because doing it myself is a giant pain (so I don’t) and going through the car wash is so, you know, strenuous…or at least expensive. So I don’t do it often. But when I do, you can bet your bottom dollar–or mine, more like–that it will rain within a half an hour. There are 365 days in a year, and I probably get my car washed on 3 of those days. You’d think that the odds would be a little bit more in my favor. Come on, Mother Nature, show some pity!

Why can I go the whole day sometimes without the phone ringing, but then as soon as I sit down to eat dinner, that damn phone will ring. And who is it? A telemarketer, of course. You know what, Mr. Too-Lame-To-Get-A-Real-Job-So-You-Harass-Folks-On-The-Phone-Instead? Interrupting my dinner, which I have so carefully and almost lovingly prepared for the Hubs and myself, and pissing me off in the process, is not really the best way to get a potential commission.  Here’s an idea: how’s about you give me your phone number, and I’ll call you back when you’re at home eating? Better yet, how about I wait until you are nestled in your comfy bed, sleeping off the remnants of the crappy karma that your job generates on a daily basis, and then I call you, eh? A-hole.

How come people have to put music players on their websites? Do they really think I enjoy surfing, landing on their site, and then having the c-r-a-p scared out of me by their music as it comes blaring out of my speakers? Just because they like the music, does not mean that everyone else will.  And I personally do not like the sticky goo that now covers my monitor, caused by the too-numerous-to-count times that I have been jerked out of my seat at loud website music, resulting in the uncontrollable projectile spitting out of my  favorite beverage. {OK, there’s not really goo on my monitor, but there could be. And my point is still valid regardless. } Here’s a tip to all the annoying website music lovers out there. You can listen to music without making us listen to music. You don’t have to hijack our speakers and bombard us with your favorite ditties (did I just say, ditties?!).  Just turn on your stereo or ipod, or flop a CD into your computer.  Turn it up. Go crazy. But leave the rest of us to listen to our own music, if and when we choose to. Our PC monitors  will thank you.

And one more for the road…not only does this one baffle me, it seriously makes me question the future of humanity. (All right, I might be exaggerating, just a little.) One of my husband’s business bills came the other day; it’s for a credit card on which he purchases materials for customer jobs. Nothing amiss, just a typical bill, or so I thought…until a few days later, another something arrived in the mail from that company. Inside were the coupons that were mistakenly left out of the invoice mailing, along with a letter explaining that they’d apparently neglected to include their regular coupons with their monthly invoice.  So let me see if I have got this straight. They generated and printed a letter, stuck it in an envelope, along with the missing coupons, and affixed postage and sent it on to us with their sincerest apologizes for this incredible oversight on their behalf.  Apparently the crappy economy isn’t affecting those idiots at all. How much did it cost, I wonder, for them to send out this missing coupon mailing to who knows how many people? Guess I see now where our credit card interest is going. Sheesh.

Here’s to you, Murphy, or your evil twin, as the case may be.

I was speaking with my sister on the phone on Valentine’s Day, which also happens to be her birthday. I got her turned onto the Twilight books, and she finally finished reading them all, so we were chatting about that. I think she’s as strangely addicted hooked on the books as I am. Once I finished reading the first book, I read the following three in rapid succession, as did she. In the words of Edward, they were “like my own personal brand of heroin“…definitely like a drug to me.  {Twilighter’s Anonymous, anyone?}

It’s not really that often that a book, let alone a series of books, becomes so popular, so quickly, and across all age levels. And it’s quite the accomplishment, in my opinion, considering how long those books are. The final book, Breaking Dawn, tops out at 754 pages. I had never, ever, read a book so long in my entire life! And they are all l-o-n-g. If I had a nickel for every page I’ve read in the Twilight saga, well, I’d have a lot of  damn nickels! But the best part is that these books don’t feel like long reads. They are page-turners, and time passes by all too quickly while you’re reading them.

If you don’t like Twilight I don’t like you either that’s OK. It’s not everyone’s cup of vampire tea. In my experience, you either love Twilight or you hate it. There’s just not too much middle ground. But I have to say that Twilight’s author, Stephenie Meyer deserves some hearty kudos for making so many people, both young and old, fall in love with reading again. And, um, Robert Pattinson did a little something for the hot blood sucker franchise as well. Go Team Edward!

As I anxiously await the DVD release of New Moon (even though I’ve seen it at the theater, you just have to know I’m buying every DVD too), I decided to make a graphic that I think fits in with New Moon and Eclipse. I was bored, and I had some time to kill, so what the heck. See what’cha think.

The moon through the trees part of the graphic is my own photo, taken during our last full moon. That photo didn’t turn out as well as I’d hoped, but it made me think of New Moon, so I figured it would make a nice backdrop for a graphic.

I guess that’s enough Twilight talk for now. Time to get back to pretending to work.

What can I say, I was bored with the look of Tinalicious and decided it was time for a redo. So I guess now it’s only fair to call the blog, Tinalicious 2.o? Hope you will stop by and take a peek.

I also wanted to share a funny little tidbit from the world of grandparenthood as well. My grandson, Dylan spent the night recently, which he doesn’t do so often anymore so it’s a treat when he does. Anyhoots, he needed a bath so I got him in my tub. This is something he really enjoys, because, well, I have a really big tub.  I also have a TV at the foot of the tub, and I’m sure the ability to bathe while watching Sponge Bob has a little something to do with his sudden affection for bath time at gramma’s house.  And FYI: Sponge Bob can be equally entertaining to bathing adults. Just sayin.

So he was in the tub and I decided to brush my teeth. So I’m brushing away when I hear him giggling repeatedly. I looked myself up and down to make sure that I was not the subject of his prolonged amusement, and I couldn’t find anything amiss (nothing out of the ordinary anyway). And just about the time I finished the rinse and spit routine in the sink, he finally enlightens me.

“Gramma, gramma…guess what? I can make my own bubbles. Watch.”

Can you guess where this is going, folks? Sure enough, Dylan has discovered that age-old practice of farting in the bathtub, which naturally creates bubbles…albeit temporary ones.  I couldn’t help but laugh as he beamed at his new-found discovery.  From the sound of his giggles echoing through the bathroom, I’d say this was the highlight of his day….and mine.

Face it: sometimes, farts are funny. Admit it. Come on.

I hear you laughing.

Once I get about this far into Winter…you know, when it’s so cold outside that even the inside of the freezer feels like a trip to the Bahamas (OK, so I’m exaggerating)…I start to become obsessively-compulsively aware of what a giant germ factory we live in.

Germs are flying, floating, and crawling everywhere this time of year. If we’re not trying to prevent them, we’re either trying to battle them with every manner of pharmacological warfare at our disposal, or we’re on the ever so prolonged road to recovery.

I admit it: I have issues with germs. But my personal pet peeves about germs and bacteria have less to do with the little bugs themselves, and more to do with people’s ignorance about how to prevent the spread of their nasty germs to the rest of us innocent bystanders. It never ceases to amaze me how people wantonly infect perfectly healthy friends and strangers alike, simply because they are too stupid or too apathetic to prevent it.

Here’s a perfect example. The Hubs and I went to our favorite Chinese Buffet this evening for dinner. I’ll admit, I tend to avoid buffets this time of year for the very reasons noted above. I mean, if you really stop and think about the number of germs that are lingering on the buffet utensils alone, it would be enough to make you stay home. (Or, at least, it should be.)

Just picture if you will the person who was down with a nasty, gut-wrenching two-day stomach virus–who couldn’t even keep down a glass of water up until 8 hours ago–cruising through the buffet tables in front of you, touching every single utensil as he fills his plate. Do you really want to load up your plate using those same utensils? Is the all-you-can-eat fried rice really that important to you?!  And will you still think so when it’s coming back up tomorrow? I think not. (BTW, this is precisely why I travel with anti-bacterial sanitizer, and I use it liberally when I eat at buffet places; it may not be fool-proof, but it’s better than nothing.)

And then there’s the lady I observed at the buffet this evening. She had a full plate in her left hand, and was getting another plate to fill. She looked at the 6 stacks of plates. She took her right hand and rubbed it around the surface of the plate on the first stack. But she doesn’t take that. No, she repeats this plate-rubbing on the top plate of the next stack. She did this three times, until she finally found a plate that was acceptable. WTH?! Not only do I wonder if she was sick yesterday (I guess the people who ended up taking the plates she touched will find out soon enough), but I am willing to bet that this twit is also a habitual  double-dipper at parties. Chips and Dip, anyone? Sheesh.

The simple truth is that probably half of the people who get sick each year, if not more, could avoid the illness all together with just an ounce (hell, even an iota!) of prevention on the part of the folks who go around carelessly infecting the rest of us.  So here are a few tips on how to keep your germs to yourself. And if you already know these things, perhaps you should share this blog post with those who live in the land of infectious ignorance and bacterial bliss.

1. Wash your hands. Seriously. Germs can’t swim, so drown the little suckers. It’s the one form of murder that is totally acceptable, and even encouraged. Use soap, warm water, and do it for 20, count ‘em, 20 seconds! You should be washing for the amount of time it would take you to sing the entire “Happy Birthday” song. Go ahead and sing. Get your groove on. No one’s listening.
2. Cough and sneeze into your elbow. Yes, I said your ELBOW. If you use your hand, you’re gonna touch something, and probably before you wash your hands. And I don’t want it to be my hand that you’re touching, or my coffee mug, or my door handle! But if you do use your hand, see #1.
3. If you are sick, STAY HOME. Clearly you did not wash your hands enough and you got somebody else’s bug, so stay home and keep your germs to yourself.  And I prescribe some chicken soup, and one complete viewing of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. That ought to make you feel better in no time.
4. If your kids are sick, then keep them home too.  Do you want the next epidemic in your child’s school on your shoulders?! Of course not. And while they’re home, this would be a good time to practice hand-washing and the proper form of  coughing and sneezing.
5. Don’t touch your face. This is an important one, and all too often overlooked. Germs get into your system in one of three ways: your eyes, or your nose, or your mouth. If you touch a germ-ridden surface, and then, say, rub your eyes, or scratch your nose, or (ew) lick your finger…what’s going to happen? Anyone, anyone, Bueller?  Yeah, I think you get the idea.

While I do accept the fact that I cannot prevent all illnesses, it sure as hell won’t be for lack of trying.  That doesn’t make me a germ-o-phobe, as much as some people might like to think. Frankly, if that were true, I wouldn’t even leave my house. I’m simply cautious, for one very simple reason: I DON’T LIKE BEING SICK! Do you? I didn’t think so. So I arm myself with my arsenal of preventive wisdom, and a little hand sanitizer, and I greet the world each day saying…

Welcome to the Germ Factory.

I was sitting at my desk, minding my own business (literally, I do have online businesses that I must mind on a daily basis), when whom should appear in my doorway? OK, yes, there’s only one other person that lives in this house, so logic alone would dictate that it was most likely the Hubs. He was smiling, and leaning up against the door frame in his usual I’m-just-here-to-make-my-presence-known sort of way.

We chit-chatted for a moment, in our typical old married couple  brand of shorthand.  No need for small talk, right?

He said: Hey

I said: What?

(Let’s face it: after 25 years of marriage, we can cut through most of the B.S. that couples of a younger generation so aptly call “conversation.”  As if.)

So then he says:  Guess what I did today?

Again, my succinct and ever so appropriate reply: What?

And then he holds up his hand, which clearly is adorned with a freshly adhered band-aid, and wiggles his fingers. So I’m thinking, he must have gotten a splinter, or perhaps cut himself on something, or any other number of infinite possibilities when you’re talking about a man who does plumbing and construction for a living.

But he says: I drilled a screw….into…my….finger.

Now as I’m picking my lower lip up off the floor, the Hubs proceeds to tell me that he not only drilled a screw…into his finger…but he drove it almost all the way in. And at this point, thinking that this story could certainly get no worse  and in no way more disgusting (that was, as always, a lapse in my own judgment—it can always get worse!), well…

He says: It was really hard to get out too; I had to…unscrew it…all the way out!

Now he is standing there, smiling, through this entire narrative, people…calm as a cucumber and seemingly pleased as punch. While I, on the other hand, have covered my mouth with my hand, developed a severe case of the heebie jeebies, and seriously considered emptying the contents of my quivering stomach into the nearest trash receptacle!

It’s the visual that kills me…the one I get in my head as he tells me the story, the one where I see him unscrewing a screw from the depth of his bleeding finger. It’s G-R-O-S-S!

And that’s the point. That’s why he’s smiling. For the effect that the story has on me.  Just picture him: he has the screw in his hand. He’s holding it up, and smiling at me. It just gives a whole new meaning to the phrase…

Wanna Screw?

And just as a final aside, after I typed that phrase, I decided to click on my Ask Edward widget while that question was still in my head (seemed appropriate at the time). Know what his reply was?

Keep dreaming. Not if I live a hundred thousand years.

Seriously, Edward. You know how to hurt a gal. Maybe it’s time I switched to Team Jacob.

At any rate, I thought I’d share with you some of my memories of favorite Christmas gifts from Christmas Past.

Barbie’s  Country Camper

Now really, isn’t this the only way for Barbie to travel…in her own RV?  It had a popout on the side, and a fold-out table; not to mention sleeping bags, a  tilt-up windshield, and a rooftop luggage rack (no sense in letting all their luggage get in the way of their indoor RV fun!)  There was enough room for friends to come along too. Sometimes Malibu Barbie would come, and sometimes even GI Joe.  You just had to be careful with him though; Joe was a little on the stiff side and did not get along with Ken. And if the two of them had a few beers too many, well, all hell would break loose in that camper!

The Six Million Dollar Man Doll

Based on the popular TV show, who wouldn’t want Steve Austin,  The Six Million Dollar Man doll? Not only did he have a hole in the back of his head so you could see through is bionic eye, but he had roll up skin on his bionic arm and legs, so you could see (and remove) his bionic parts! How creepy cool is that?! Besides, he came in handy when Ken and GI Joe were not getting along, because he could totally kick their ass! And even though he did have his very own bionic girlfriend, we all know he was secretly in love with Barbie, so he enjoyed tagging along with her. No wonder she needed an RV.

Electronic Detective

Now this was a game I got in the early 80’s. You got to be a detective to solve murder mysteries.  Who Done It? It was your job to find out. There were over 130,000 mysteries to solve, and it included all sorts of sound effects too: gun shots, sirens, even the funeral dirge, and more. My best friend and I both wanted to be private detectives when we grew up…so this game was good training, to be sure.  Talk about your hi-tech toys! This was the height of advanced computer logic…OK well, based on computer logic of 1979, when the game was created anyway.

Mork from Ork Egg Ship

Mork from Ork made his first TV appearance on the hit TV show Happy Days in the late 70’s. Played by the legendary comic, Robin Williams (who was an unknown at the time), his character became such a hit that he got his own TV show: Mork & Mindy. I loved Mork! I couldn’t wait to watch that show each week. It was truly one of my all time faves. One year for Christmas, my grandma and grandpa got all of us these Mork from Ork Egg Ships–because, well, Mork’s mode of travel was indeed an egg ship, what else?! The plastic ship came in two parts, with a 4″ Mork figure inside.  And Shazbot! I loved that thing!

Portable Cassette Tape Player

Not as old as an 8-track player, but long before CD players (and iPods), there was the cassette player. And if you were really lucky, you also had a portable cassette player, like this red one that I got one year. I was able to not only take this with me to friends’ houses, but I could also record stuff. Talk about old school! Remember those days? If you liked a song on the radio you’d just push your tape recorder up to the radio speaker…really close…and push record, and then you had to remember not to talk or make any other noise while recording or it would be on the tape too and you’d ruin the whole thing! You also had to be sure you had enough space on the tape for all the songs you were recording; but inevitably, at some point, you’d run out of tape…usually just as your favorite song was recording. Ah, the good ole days.

Before I leave, I wanted to share with you the one Christmas present I really, really wanted as a child, but never got.  It’s one of those things you can’t really explain, but you just really want it. So what was it?

That’s right: Star Trek Communicators. Yes folks, as a child I was indeed a Trekkie. Space travel. Exploring new worlds. Pointy-eared Vulcans. Hot space ship captains. Yeah, I hear you snickering, but that’s because you thought James T. Kirk (aka William Shatner) was hot too.  Don’t pretend like you didn’t. The Communicators were actually walkie-talkies, and I thought they were the coolest things. The top flipped open and you could talk into it.  I never got them as a child. But oh yeah, the Hubs and I have some now. We call them…cellphones.

Beam me up, Scotty. And Happy Holidays.

]]> http://www.tinalicious.com/2009/12/christmas-past/feed/ 0 http://www.tinalicious.com/2009/12/whos-who/ http://www.tinalicious.com/2009/12/whos-who/#comments Fri, 04 Dec 2009 18:29:33 +0000 admin http://www.tinalicious.com/?p=376 Apparently, I’m somebody, according to Strathmore’s Who’s Who. I got a letter that confirms this, so hey, it must be true.

It is my pleasure to inform you that your information was reviewed and accepted for inclusion in the 2009 edition. Strathmore’s Who’s Who each year recognizes and selects key executives, professionals, and organizations in all disciplines and industries for outstanding business and professional achievements. Those who have reached a distinguished level of success in their chosen profession share this recognition.

OK, so, not only am I “distinguished,” but I also have “outstanding business and professional achievements.” That’s so interesting! I didn’t know that having a net income of $0 from my business was considered an outstanding business achievement! Holy heck, I’m doing better than I thought!

What’s next? Will Forbes be calling me for the next Fortune 500?!  And surely Oprah will want an interview to extol the merits of my highly tuned business acumen.  Perhaps even The Donald will be calling, wanting some insight from a clearly accomplished business professional.  Like, for real.

That letter from Strathmore made my day. Perhaps I should frame it and hang it on the wall alongside my other nonexistent awards and accolades, so that I can give my name the spotlight it deserves. But wait…what’s this? My name is nowhere on this letter. It’s not addressed to me at all. It says…Dear…Company Owner. Apparently, I’m so distinguished and accomplished that they can’t even address me by name?!

WTH?

What a racket.  I wish I had a dollar for every time I got one of these letters. (Seriously, that would add up to a LOT of money by now!) Yeah, they’re gonna put my name in a book alright. But the only way I’ll see it myself is to buy the damned book, which is, of course, the whole point of the letter.

Do people really fall for this? If so, I am definitely in the wrong business. And let’s not overlook the fact that this letter came…by fax, just as all news of professional accomplishment and achievement should come.

Not.

Gotta give props to the folks at Strathmore though. If they’re making money in this economy with this gimmick, more power to ‘em.  It’s the American way.

1. If a startlingly loud and unidentifiable noise can occur in another room, it will happen at precisely the moment when you happen to be watching some spooky bit of paranormal programming on TV and are already in a heightened state of extreme paranoia…and if you’re sipping a beverage at this precise moment, you will end up wearing it too.

2. Paid Programming caters to 3 types of people at 4am: Overweight over-eaters who are in the market for expensive exercise equipment that they cannot afford; older folks who are in search of the one and only beauty cream that will take years off their faces; and those kinky folks who are on the hunt for sex toys, and are surely going to be up at 4am to get the best bargains on lubes and lotions, vibrators and blow-me-up-suck-me-Suzie dolls.

3. Your kitchen floor will only creak when you are tip-toeing into the room to get a snack at 12:30am that you do not need, and don’t necessarily want your husband to know you are getting while he is sleeping in the next room. (Bonus lesson: the creaky floor is actually a great diet aid!)

4. Reading only helps to make you tired if the book sucks. If it’s a good book, you’ll just want to keep reading, and before you know it you’ll be hearing the coffee pot come on and kicking yourself for ever thinking you could just read “one more chapter.”

5. The best sleep aids are reruns of 80’s TV shows that you cannot stand. I personally use The Nanny, Married with Children, and Full House.  You can find at least one of those shows on at almost any time of night. And when all else fails, I just put one of those on and I’m usually asleep in relatively short order.

I’m still not tired. So, I think a bit of channel-surfing is in order. The 80’s are  definitely calling. Night, all.

The Hubs and I recently switched cell phone carriers. We had one phone left under contract with our old carrier, so we decided to just let the contract run out, rather than pay the $250 cancellation fee–since we’d save a lot of money that way.

Our contract expired on the 7th, so I called the carrier and told them I want to cancel and close the account. No problem, right? Should be easy enough. Well, you know, idiots thrive in this world, and cell phone carriers are no exception. They tell me that they will close my account…at the end of my billing cycle date, which is the 22nd. So basically, I have to keep my account, for a phone I haven’t used in about three months, for another 2 weeks. OK. Fine, I tell them. And I figured we were done. But,  no.

First they want to share with me all the great offers I should take advantage of, now that my phone is paid off. I should get the pay-as-you-go plan, so that I can use the phone as a back up, if I need to. Or I should get a new monthly calling package and just start fresh with them. Well, um, “I already have a phone with another carrier,” I say. I don’t want to pay to have a “back up” phone,  nor do I wish to start over with them, thank you very much.  (Do they even live in the same economy that I do?!) So fine, they say that I’ll get my final bill soon after my regular billing cycle ends.

So yesterday I get the bill via email. And how much is it for? .01. That’s right, ONE CENT! And this is where I’m thinking, are you freaking kidding me? They are sending me a bill for a penny? WTH? Well, after much consideration, I’ve decided I have 3 options.

1. Print out the payment page, tape a penny to it, and mail them the bill with a carefully worded letter about the inanity of sending someone a bill for one cent. But you know, that would cost me .44 cents, not to mention I’d have to print out the bill and waste an envelope. This economy has taught me to be quite cheap frugal, if nothing else, so this is a less than ideal choice.

2. Ignore the bill all together, and wait to see how long it takes them to turn me over to collections FOR ONE CENT! You know they’d do it, right? They sooo would! This is America, after all, land of the free-for-alls and home of the seedy bill collectors. This is actually a plausible option though, if you think about it. When you send someone to collections, the collections agency gets at least half the money you are due, so basically the cell phone carrier would end up with about half of a cent. I’d love that! But not at the expense of my credit report, I don’t think.  So probably not worth it.

3. Use my online banking to send them a payment of  .02 cents. And why  .02 cents? Because if I send them .02 cents, they will have to refund me the overpayment, which would be .01 cent.  And since the cost of postage is .44 cents, they will actually lose money by sending me a refund check.  I’ll get my .01 cent overpayment back, but they will have just spent .44 cents to send it to me.

So yeah, I’m gonna go with option 3. They’ll get their one cent, but it’s gonna cost them to get it.  Just a little vindication for all the dropped calls, out-of-service times, and lack of carryover minutes we endured over the course of the last 4 years!

Sometimes, revenge is truly sweet.

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