Friday Flip Offs August 20

Friday Flip Offs are the brain child of The Kludgy Mom. It’s just a way to vent and get rid of your “weekday angst,” by virtually flipping someone (or something) off.  Some might call that passive-aggression. But I call it cheaper than therapy.

So here are my Friday Flip Offs for this week.

To the Facebook Disease: Flip Off! While I do use Facebook, I am not infected with its disease like too many people I know. You know you have it if any of the following apply to you:

• You no longer send emails because you can’t be bothered to write something more than one or two sentences long. And yet you can post a sentence or two…like 800 times in one day with no problems at all.
• You spend hours upon hours playing Farmville, and yet you have the audacity to state to a friend who casually asks you if you’ve read a certain book, “Read? I don’t have time to read, I have more important things to do.” Um,  OK.
• You use your cellphone to post on your Facebook wall so your “best friend” will see it…instead of using the phone to actually call your “best friend.” Because, yeah, talking on a phone would just be weird, right?

I could go on and on about the Facebook Disease.  But since all the people who need to read it are on Facebook, they probably wouldn’t see it anyway.

To Loud Commercials: Flip Off! It is beyond annoying to be watching a TV show and when it goes to commercial break, the commercial is 10 times louder than the show. I am so tired of the commercial’s-on-volume-down-show’s-on-volume-up-dance for the 2-3 hours a night I watch TV. My finger should be much thinner than it is considering how much exercise it gets on a nightly basis. I mean, I get why they do it–they apparently want you to still hear the commercial while you’re grabbing a snack or in the bathroom going pee, right? But how many people actually leave the volume up like that? Most of us turn it down, don’t we? And let’s face it, sometimes that volume spike scares the bleeping crap out of me! I’m getting too freaking old for those kind of shocks to my system.

To Guys Who Call All Other Guys “Bro”: Flip Off! What’s up, Bro? How’s it hanging, Bro? Bro, are you feeling OK?  I feel you, Bro. Seriously, do they really consider all other guys their “Bro”? Is it just a simple form of male bonding? Or do they just say “Bro” because they can’t remember the other guy’s name to whom they’re speaking? Whatever the reason, it’s annoying. Even the Hubs thinks it’s annoying, and I can honestly say I’ve never heard him call any other guy (including any of his 3 brothers) “Bro.” [Just one of the many reasons I love that man!] And some guys say it sooo much.  While waiting for a table at a restaurant one time, I heard a guy call another guy “Bro” at least 7 times during their brief conversation. And it took all the strength I could muster to not say, “Shut the F*ck Up, Bro!” For real, people, “Bro” is crispy already. Turn it over, it’s done.

And I’m done too, I believe.  Time to flip off the light and head to bed. All this virtual therapy has exhausted me. And now the only flipping off I have left in me is the one I’ll do when my alarm clock goes off at 6:15 in the morning. Seriously. Flip Off, alarm clock!