The weekend was interesting for The Hubs and Me. We spent much of it with our grandson, Dylan, as our daughter got ready for her graduation party to celebrate her graduation from Cosmetology School. Yay! And I don’t just mean that because I can now get free haircuts for life. No, seriously. But clearly that’s a perk. I am not going to deny it.

Anyhoots…on Friday we took Dylan to the Asian Buffet. We occasionally spend our Date Night at the Asian Buffet. This is particularly true when Dylan joins us for Date Night, because he loves that place. The Hubs and I can only take Chinese food so often…I mean, you know, we just have to be in the mood for it. But Dylan is always in the mood for it. And he always eats the same exact things: meatballs, big giant football-shaped bread rolls, and lemon jello.

What? What’s that you say? That’s not Chinese food? Yeah. We know. But that’s what he wants to eat at the Asian Buffet, without fail. So he eats that while we eat the real Chinese food, which we consume in quantities befitting two hogs at their Chinese trough. Isn’t that what buffets are for? To be sure.

So after we stuffed ourselves on sweet and sour shrimp, fried rice, and General Tso’s Chicken (who the heck General Tso is I really don’t know–but his chicken is damn good), we awaited the best part of the meal: the fortune cookies. Now, I seldom eat the fortune cookie, the Hubs never does, and Dylan only occasionally does. We just want the “fortune” that’s inside it, which I seldom actually consider to be fortunes because, to me, fortunes should tell you something that is going to happen. But those little paper “fortunes” don’t often do that. Rather, they just say something ambiguous or metaphorical and it’s supposed to be somehow profound.  But most of the time they just make me laugh, or shake my head. Still, they’re fun to read, and after all, what is a meal of Chinese food without a fortune at the end of it? And my fortune was actually, amazingly, and weirdly spot on for once.

It read, “Great! You’re ready for a party!”

Since my daughter’s graduation party was the next day, that fortune couldn’t have been more accurate. For once. So what if the other 100 or so fortunes I’ve gotten in my life were nowhere near accurate, or even true “fortunes” in many cases. This one was absolutely dead on. So after I reveled in the amazement for a few moments, the next thought that came to mind was that if my fortune is going to be right for like, the first time ever, why couldn’t it have said this:

“Great! You’re going to lose 50 pounds, gain a financial windfall that will make you debt-free and give you financial freedom for the rest of your life, and you’ll finally understand all the mysteries of LOST!”

Now that would have been a great fortune! But oh well. Moving on. We took Dylan to see the Smurfs movie on Sunday. I absolutely loved the Smurfs when I was in high school. They were all the rage back in the day. And what’s not to love?

They are just as cute now as they were back then. Maybe even cuter, considering the state of movie technology these days. We loved the movie too. Fun story, lots of laughs for kids and adults, and lots of cute little blue Smurfs.

And oh yeah, before we left the theater I used the restroom. Little did I know that yet another “fortune” would be waiting for me there, taped to the back of the stall door. Now I don’t know who’s idea it was to post these things on all of the stall doors, and I’m not sure why they would either. I mean, it’s not like a person wants to linger too long on a public toilet. But then again, I guess it can’t hurt to have some reading material in there either. So anyway, here’s the toilet stall fortune that awaited me:

“The elevator to success is broken. You’ll have to take the stairs. One step at a time.”

So it was kind of profound, I’ll give it that. It gave me something to think about, which is never a bad thing when you’re taking care of business. And hey, it gave me something to blog about on this Smurftastic Monday.

]]> http://www.tinalicious.com/the-hubs-and-me/smurftastic-monday/feed/ 0 http://www.tinalicious.com/wth/date-night-at-the-asian-buffet/ http://www.tinalicious.com/wth/date-night-at-the-asian-buffet/#comments Sat, 08 May 2010 05:27:56 +0000 Tinalicious http://www.tinalicious.com/?p=537 So it’s Friday, and you know what that means for the Hubs and me: Date Night (aka dinner and the grocery store). It’s a nearly 26 year ritual.

{We’re nothing if not predictable consistent.}

The restaurant choices around town are not that exciting, which is proven by the fact that most of our residents consider the local Applebee’s to be fine dining. Ahem. So when we want something different, we usually hit the Asian Buffet. How can you lose with all you can eat Fried Rice, Tacos, and Crab Legs, all in one place?! Now that is exciting! But hey, it doesn’t stop there. Nosiree. We had all sorts of excitement this evening at the Asian Buffet.

First up, and never a surprise at any restaurant in this town, it was COLD in there.  Why are restaurants always so damn cold? In the winter, I literally have to eat with my coat on for the entire meal. And this time of year, I simply want to eat with my coat on for the entire meal. What gives anyway? Doesn’t this defeat the purpose of serving supposedly hot food to customers? It ain’t gonna stay hot for long when it feels like it’s 60 degrees in there, people! And if their plan is that making me cold will somehow make me want to spend more money, well, their plan fails miserably on every single dining excursion. Being cold makes me want to leave, and nothing more. So, note to restaurant owners: turn the A/C down, folks, and with the money you save, maybe you can finally afford some real Sweet-n-Low, instead of that pathetic pink impostor you think people don’t notice is a crappy cheap substitute for the real deal.

Next, we were unfortunate enough to be seated right behind a family with one of “those” children. You know the ones I mean, right? The ones who are constantly standing up in the booth, turned around to look at you, and making all sorts of noise. But we can’t really blame the munchkin-sized terrorists children for their behavior, now can we? When they’re bouncing up and down in the booth, dropping food over the edge, or repeatedly asking, “what is her name, what is her name, what is her name?” it’s not really their fault, is it?

I’m thinking, I’m thinking…

OK, no, it’s the parents’ fault. Because they are the ones in charge of their child’s behavior, no? So what does this far-cry-from-mother-of-the-year-parent do?  She tells the kid in some sickly, sugary sweet tone, “Kyle, sit down…time to turn around and sit down.” She must have said that 4 times in under 5 minutes, with the same conviction I’d use if I was trying to get my grandson to eat some broccoli (no really, honey, it’s good, try it, you’ll love it!). And I guarantee you what the child actually heard is, “Kyle, you can sit down if you want, but I’m not gonna do anything if you don’t, because I really don’t care, so please continue to harass the couple behind you while I finish my egg roll.”

WTH?

I’m just gonna say it, and you can lambaste me if you want to: Some people should NOT procreate. Send in the flaming arrows. Go ahead. I’m ready.

OK, and I also need to talk about the wait staff at the Asian Buffet. I seriously think they have Ninja training or something, because they move in so swiftly, from seemingly out of nowhere, and then they are gone just as quickly. No sooner have you eaten the last crumb of food from your plate than they are sweeping in to take said dirty plate away. Tonight, the Hubs had just put his last bite of food in his mouth and his fork was still in hand and in a downward motion, when our waitress swooped in and grabbed the plate just as the fork touched down. And then she was out of sight. Ninja skills. Seriously.

Finally, after enduring the cold, and the noisy display of bad parenting seated behind us, we finished our meal and awaited our parting gifts: the fortune cookies. I mean really, who doesn’t love fortune cookies? OK well, we don’t, but we do love opening our fortunes. When the ninja waitress returned with our cookies, there was just one slight problem though. We each got a fortune cookie package, but one looked like this:

For real…it was totally empty! I don’t know about you, but I’m thinking that is some sort of karmic message or something. Hmmm, so either our future is empty…or maybe it’s just our bank account. We don’t exactly need Confucius to tell us that, now do we?

The Hubs did get a replacement fortune cookie, and his fortune was (as is often the case, in my experience) not a fortune at all. I mean, isn’t it supposed to tell you something about the future?  But they never really seem to do that. His fortune was just a blatant rip off of the Golden Rule…do unto others, etc etc. That is not a fortune, if you ask me. That’s just common sense. And a lesson learned…from good parenting.

But anyhoots…I got a fortune too. And at least mine was funny.

(Click to Enlarge)

You are the crispy noodle in the vegetarian salad of life.

And guess what? I totally agree. I don’t wanna toot my own horn or anything, but I  AM the crispy noodle in the vegetarian salad of life.

(And I’m Tinalicious too.) *wink*

Take care all, and Happy Mother’s Day to all the other crispy noodles in the world.

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