See you soon, Edward. Right there with about 8 billion other Twihards, both young and old(er).

Of course, all the Harry Potter, Interview with the Vampire, Blade, and Star Trek fans will probably thoroughly enjoy some of these jokes. But as a Twihard myself, what can I say. If it’s funny, it’s funny.

1. My New iPhone. Now I think I need to start off by saying that I’ve never had a “fancy” phone until I got this iPhone yesterday. I’ve always been a gimme-the-cheapest-thing-you’ve-got-but-looks-cute-kind-of-gal. As long as it works and isn’t the size of a shoe, almost any cellphone would normally do. But after my studio was robbed a couple of weeks ago, which left me sans a stereo, and after then realizing that my cell phone contract was ready for an upgrade,  it wasn’t too difficult to deduce [in my own smartass Sherlock sort of way] that an iPhone would be like killing two birds with one stone.

And so I begged asked the Hubs for an iPhone. And after a lot of little convincing, he caved generously offered to get me one. Yay! So now I am the proud owner of a brand new obsession iPhone. So I’m just a tad obsessed with it, since it’s all bright shiny and new at the moment. Call me crazy, but it sort of makes me want to shout, “I’VE ARRIVED” at the top of my lungs. Is that weird?

And speaking of dead birds…

2. Pink Plastic Flamingos. Not because I have them. Nor because I want them. But because I simply don’t understand them.  Why do people put those hideous things in their yards?  Who started this mad tradition of tacky plastic lawn decor? And more importantly…WHY?! Someone needs to put a stop it. What’s say we hire a pack of pissed off plastic Gnomes to do the job for us, eh? Last I heard they hate the flamingos too. Let’s face it: there’s only so much lawn space to go around.

3. Robert Pattinson’s Hair. [Now seriously, you didn't actually expect me to never mention RPattz in a post about My Obsessions, now did you?]  For real. His hair seems to have a life of its own most of the time. Not that I’m complaining. But it can be very distracting when I come across a photo of him. Sometimes I can’t help but stare for far too long. This is probably something only girls can relate to. Twihard girls, to be exact. You feel me, don’tcha, girls?

4. Secrets. No, not the hush, don’t tell kind of secrets. I’m talking about the song, Secrets, by One Republic. It’s just a freaking awesome song is all. Take a listen…by watching the the video on YouTube, if you like. In HD even.

Secrets, by One Republic

This song was also in the Nicolas Cage flick, The Sorcerer’s Apprentice. And since I have an ongoing obsession with Nic, that makes this song quite appropriate.

And what are YOU obsessed with this week?

The Hubs and I were were grocery shopping, and the grandson was along as well. That always makes for entertaining shopping misadventures right there. But things took a sharp turn into madness as we entered the Meat Department that fateful Friday evening. What we saw was simply shocking. Shameless. And seriously F’d up.

What was it, you ask? What got me so worked up in the Meat Department at Wally World that made me question not only their dress code, but also my faith in the future of America? Well, it looked a little something like this…

Reasonable Facscimile of the Wal Mart Employee

That’s right, people. It was an employee of the Wal Mart Meat Department. Stocking meat. In  Saggy Pants. Boxer shorts laid bare for the entire population of Wally World to see.

Yeah, so this is what a former teacher such as myself would call a teachable moment, considering the 7-year-old grandson was along. So I turned to him, unashamedly pointed out the saggy pants offender (hereafter to be known as the SPO), and said, “See that young man over there? This is exactly how NOT to dress in public.”

Dylan looked a tad mortified at what he saw, which made me feel rather proud. And then he just kind of giggled, as if he was genuinely embarrassed for the SPO. Which is a good sign, of course; at least it shows that Dylan not only understands what I was so irked about, it also shows he has compassion for others.

But I honestly had no compassion for that SPO at all. He is old enough to know that dressing like that in public is not only immature, demonstrating a total lack of self-respect, but also a lack of respect for his environment and everyone in it. I mean, his pants were down. His boxer-shorted-ass was hanging out. IN THE MEAT DEPARTMENT. Are there not Health Department codes put in place to protect the public from this kind of thing? And does this young man not have a supervisor or some other superior who should be making sure that he is dressed appropriately for food-handling?

Seriously. WTH?!

Would you want to buy your meat there, with employees who are dressed like that? I think not. Granted, if the employee looked like my favorite vampire, perhaps I’d be a little more forgiving.

Who am I kidding. Twlight be damned. Even seeing RPattz stocking meat at Wal Mart with saggy pants would piss me off! It’s gross! (Though isn’t it funny and yet predictable how I can work RPattz into a blog post about the Wal Mart Meat Department?)

I just have to end this by laughing a bit, thinking about Wal Mart’s little blue vests that beckon…

Help US, Wal Mart? REALLY? You can’t even help yourselves.

So today’s post will be my introduction to this linky party, Meet Me on Monday, which originated at the Never Growing Old blog. It includes 5 questions, and my ovation-worthy 5 answers, to be sure. It’s just a fun and easy way to get to know me a little better whether you want to or not and visit other blogs and get to know the authors better too. So read the questions and my answers. And then, if you’re interested, check out the other entries linked on the Never Growing Old blog.

1. Did you watch the Super Bowl?

Um, no. I don’t like football. In fact I don’t like any sports. And thank goodness, the Hubs doesn’t watch football either, because then I’d probably have to divorce him. Or something. Besides, there are so many better things to do than watching the Super Bowl. Like cutting my fingernails. Or flossing my teeth. Or hey, cleaning out the gunk from the  bathroom drain.

2. What is the last book you read?

That would be Nocturne, by Syrie James.

It’s a forbidden love story. And has a fantasy sort of element to it. And there’s, um, some blood involved. OK, OK, OK…it’s a vampire love story, alright?! I admit it. My Twilight-thing-turned-Edward-the-vampire-thing has sparked a propensity to seek out other vampire tales. Not only am I a Twilight-a-Holic, but I am apparently addicted to fiction of the general I-love-a-blood-sucker variety. Strange. But good. And true.

3. What is your favorite kind of cake?

Spice Cake is my absolute favorite kind of cake. I seldom eat any other kind, truth be told.

It’s so full of sweet, spicy goodness. What’s not to love? The fat? The carbs? The calories? Phhht.  You only live once, and if you can’t have a little piece of spice cake once in awhile, that ain’t living, my friends.

4. Do you snore?

Well, as I noted in My Friday Confessions recently, I do, in fact, and much to my dismay, and the greater dismay of the Hubs,  snore. It’s embarrassing, but not so embarrassing that I wouldn’t admit it. But I do wonder how many ladies out there snore…but lie about it and say they don’t. It’s like there’s a stigma attached to snoring, especially if you’re a woman. Because, you know, like we are somehow less of a lady if involuntary noises escape our mouths during sleep. As if.

5. Do you play an instrument.

I can almost play the piano. I took lessons…as an adult even. It had always been a dream of mine to learn to play. So a friend of my was giving me lessons, and I loved it. But then, as they say, life happens and priorities have to shift, and some dreams have to get left by the way side. Sniffle.  C’est la vie though, no? As Sean Connery always says…

Yeah, maybe Sean Connery doesn’t “always” say that. Maybe he’s never said it. But you can darn well bet that if he did, he’d be dayum sexy saying it. Admit it: even at age 80 (!) that dude is still hot.

There now, aren’t you glad you got to know me just a wee bit better today?

]]> http://www.tinalicious.com/twilight-a-holic/meet-me-on-monday/feed/ 4 http://www.tinalicious.com/twilight-a-holic/almost-last-year-in-review/ http://www.tinalicious.com/twilight-a-holic/almost-last-year-in-review/#comments Sun, 02 Jan 2011 05:56:15 +0000 Tinalicious http://www.tinalicious.com/?p=1364 As I was reading a post from one of my favorite bloggers, Sandra at Absolutely Narcissism I couldn’t help but be inspired by the way she decided to blog about 2010–a Year in Review (sort of) post. She found some questions on another blog and posted her own replies in her post. So I decided to carry forward that theme and answer those same questions about 2010 in my own blog post. It will be my first post of this new year…and it’s almost last year in review. So here goes.

What did you do in 2010 that you’ve never done before?
Well, I turned 44. That is certainly something I don’t do everyday. I also took a walk on the wild side and installed RAM in my laptop. All by myself. Yeah, that’s right. I’m just crazy like that.

What countries did you visit?
Um, I visited America. And I’ll be doing that again this year as well. I’m the quintessential queen of short-distance traveling. No passport required.

What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?

1. Income (money may not buy happiness, but last time I checked, it does help pay bills. And I have a serious art & craft addiction that must be fed from time to time).
2. Patience.
3. A new refrigerator (the Hubs has to get sick of me asking at some point and just freaking buy it for me already, right?!).
4. Less gray hair.
5. A smaller ass imprint when I get up from the couch.
6. And un-saggy breasts that are located about 5″ higher than where they reside right now.

(And not necessarily in that order.)

What was your biggest achievement this past year?
Cleaning and organizing my home office sometime around August…and managing to keep it clean and organized…until…September. Trust me. That is a major accomplishment for me.

What was the best thing you bought?
**crickets**
You’re not going to believe how much of a raging shopaholic I am. [Insert laughter here] I tend to buy three categories of things most of the time. 1) Books, 2) DVDs, 3) Art & Craft Supplies. So the best book I bought would probably be Fallen; the best DVD would likely be (nice to see you again, Edward) The Twilight Saga: New Moon; and any art supplies I can buy are always the best things I buy on any day–despite what the Hubs calls my “insane ability” to shop in Michaels or Hobby Lobby for 2-3 hours at a stretch. Yeah, that is one of my very special skills, baby.

Whose behavior merited celebration?
My daughter started Cosmetology School last year. And the day she started on the path that will lead me to getting free haircuts AND free highlights…that merits some serious celebration!

Whose behavior made you appalled and disgusted?
That answer is the same every year: The Freak Next Door. ‘Nough said.

What song will always remind you of 2010?
Hold My Hand, by Michael Jackson (with Akon), the first song from his first posthumous CD release, Michael. And not just because it will always remind me of him and the legacy he left us with. But also because the words make me think of everyone I love…my husband, my daughter, my grandchildren, my mother, my sister…and everyone else that’s dear to my heart…and how everything will be alright if they just hold my hand.

“So if you just
Hold my Hand
Baby I promise that I’ll do
All I can
Things will get better if you just
Hold my Hand
Nothing can come between us if you just
Hold, Hold my Hold my, Hold my Hand.”

What do you wish you’d done more of?
Body Surfing.
Piercings.
Reading.
Dusting.
Exploring the recesses of our HVAC system.

Only one of those things is true. I’ll leave it to you to figure out which one.

What do you wish you’d done less of?
Mind-reading.
Vulcan nerve pinches on my husband.
Brilliantly funny blogging.
Watching all the seasons of LOST on DVD.
Being right.

Again, only one of these things is true. Can you spot it?

Did you fall in love in 2010?
No. I didn’t fall in love in 2010. But I did fall back in love…with a certain pale-skinned, amber-eyed, sparkling hot blood-sucker named Edward. Does that count? I hope so. Because this is on my agenda for 2011 as well.

Who was the best new person you met?
Now this one is super easy: my granddaughter, Destiny.  I love her to pieces. She’ll be turning 1 on 1-11-11. That has got to be a good sign for the new year!

She is also absolute proof that you can wear horizontal stripes and look completely adorable.

So that is my almost, kinda, sorta last year in review on this, my very first post of the new year.

Pretty painless, wasn’t it?

]]> http://www.tinalicious.com/twilight-a-holic/almost-last-year-in-review/feed/ 2 http://www.tinalicious.com/have-blog-will-babble/happy-44th-birthday-to-me/ http://www.tinalicious.com/have-blog-will-babble/happy-44th-birthday-to-me/#comments Tue, 28 Sep 2010 06:30:31 +0000 Tinalicious http://www.tinalicious.com/?p=1066 Yeah, so I’m turning 44 today. Please bear with me as I attempt to contain my enthusiasm. Ahem.

I decided that my blog post for today could go one of two ways:

A. I could impart some of my insightful wisdom and share the keys to the mysteries of life that I’ve acquired in my 44 years.

OR

B. I could make a list of the top 5 things I’d like for my birthday–if money were no object and the sky was the limit.

Hmmm. Tough call. But I think I’m going with option B.  What could be more fun than to share in my own self-serving personal wish list from the slightly twisted but Tinaliciously tasty world of birthday fantasy?  So, without further ado or pomp and circumstance, here is my fantasy birthday wish list.

5. An all expenses paid trip to Paris and London. First Class, of course, with enough spending money to shop at all the Parisian stores I can’t even begin to pronounce, and to buy all the tacky British souvenirs that backwards Yanks like myself are sure to enjoy. And while we’re at it, I’ll need enough money left over to hire a personal trainer upon my return home…because I’m sure to put on 20 pounds on such an inevitably food-filled trip across the pond. And trust me on this: I do not need another 20 pounds of junk in my trunk.

4. A Housekeeper. Not because I’m lazy, but because housework sucks, life is short, and because I’d rather be blogging anyway.  And since this is my fantasy wish list…here’s my fantasy housekeeper:

The muscle shirt would be totally optional, of course. And just look at him, he’s totally ready to make the bed. Or something.

3. Enough money and resources to find out what really happened to Michael Jackson. Let’s be real here, peeps. The fact that MJ’s doctor is still a free man, still practicing medicine, still taking vacations and still enjoying all the joys of fatherhood (so voraciously documented by TMZ on a regular basis) that Michael is missing because he’s rotting in a crypt—that tells me that something is seriously stanky in the California justice system. The way it looks now, Lindsay Lohan is gonna spend more time in jail than Conrad Murray will.  I’d like nothing more than to understand why that is. Especially considering how remorseful he appears to be…

2. For the Hubs to know what Duckie knows. Duckie is the character played by Jon Cryer in Pretty in Pink, one of my fave classic 80′s flicks. In one of my all time favorite movie scenes, Duckie comes sliding into the record store where his friend Andie (played by Molly Ringwald) works, and  he lip syncs to the Otis Redding hit, Try a Little Tenderness. And that song Duckie fake croons and dances to is the answer to many questions related to this girl’s emotional highs and lows. Am I tired and grumpy? Try a Little Tenderness. Am I stressed from doing the unending weekly bills? Try a Little Tenderness. Am I less than affectionate when you’re “in the mood.” Try a Little Tenderness. Don’t take my word for it though. Let Duckie tell you.

1. A Twilight-themed cake, hand delivered by R.Patz (a.k.a. Edward Cullen) himself.

And I’ll be a good girl. Really. I promise.  I won’t touch him or anything.

Unless he wants me to help him lick that frosting off his thumb or something. [No judgment, people, it's my birthday.]

So there’s my birthday fantasy wish list, which took far too long to write. This 44-year-old brain just ain’t what it used to be. Yeah, I should have stuck at 39. Is it too late to go back?

Gosh, I’m whiny when I’m tired. But you know what they say…

It’s my party and I’ll whine if I want to.

]]> http://www.tinalicious.com/have-blog-will-babble/happy-44th-birthday-to-me/feed/ 2 http://www.tinalicious.com/twilight-a-holic/wordless-wednesday-twilight-perfect-picnic/ http://www.tinalicious.com/twilight-a-holic/wordless-wednesday-twilight-perfect-picnic/#comments Wed, 07 Jul 2010 06:32:32 +0000 Tinalicious http://www.tinalicious.com/?p=680 Today’s Wordless Wednesday post features all the ingredients you’ll need for…the perfect summer picnic…Twilight style.

First you’ll need the perfect ride.

And then the perfect woodsy destination…

A little bite to eat…

Perhaps a six pack?

A little game of catch [the vampire] might be nice…

And just for fun, a few sparkles for some ambiance…

And call me crazy, but how about another six pack?
(We can call it “dessert.”)

Yeah, I think that ought to do it…everything we’d need for the perfect summer picnic, Edward er, Twilight style.  Not that I’m obsessed or anything. Really. I’m not.

Happy Hump Day, fellow Twilighters!

]]> http://www.tinalicious.com/twilight-a-holic/wordless-wednesday-twilight-perfect-picnic/feed/ 4 http://www.tinalicious.com/twilight-a-holic/twilight-forever/ http://www.tinalicious.com/twilight-a-holic/twilight-forever/#comments Tue, 16 Feb 2010 19:57:54 +0000 Tinalicious http://www.tinalicious.com/?p=433 I was speaking with my sister on the phone on Valentine’s Day, which also happens to be her birthday. I got her turned onto the Twilight books, and she finally finished reading them all, so we were chatting about that. I think she’s as strangely addicted hooked on the books as I am. Once I finished reading the first book, I read the following three in rapid succession, as did she. In the words of Edward, they were “like my own personal brand of heroin“…definitely like a drug to me.  {Twilighter’s Anonymous, anyone?}

It’s not really that often that a book, let alone a series of books, becomes so popular, so quickly, and across all age levels. And it’s quite the accomplishment, in my opinion, considering how long those books are. The final book, Breaking Dawn, tops out at 754 pages. I had never, ever, read a book so long in my entire life! And they are all l-o-n-g. If I had a nickel for every page I’ve read in the Twilight saga, well, I’d have a lot of  damn nickels! But the best part is that these books don’t feel like long reads. They are page-turners, and time passes by all too quickly while you’re reading them.

If you don’t like Twilight I don’t like you either that’s OK. It’s not everyone’s cup of vampire tea. In my experience, you either love Twilight or you hate it. There’s just not too much middle ground. But I have to say that Twilight’s author, Stephenie Meyer deserves some hearty kudos for making so many people, both young and old, fall in love with reading again. And, um, Robert Pattinson did a little something for the hot blood sucker franchise as well. Go Team Edward!

As I anxiously await the DVD release of New Moon (even though I’ve seen it at the theater, you just have to know I’m buying every DVD too), I decided to make a graphic that I think fits in with New Moon and Eclipse. I was bored, and I had some time to kill, so what the heck. See what’cha think.

The moon through the trees part of the graphic is my own photo, taken during our last full moon. That photo didn’t turn out as well as I’d hoped, but it made me think of New Moon, so I figured it would make a nice backdrop for a graphic.

I guess that’s enough Twilight talk for now. Time to get back to pretending to work.

(A little bit of shirtless vampire eye candy didn’t  exactly hurt either.)

I finally settled on the videos posted at Twilight Guide. It’s one of my favorite resources for anything related to the Twilight Saga. There are two clips on the link below, and both include English Subtitles. That’s actually kind of a good thing, since even though they’re speaking English, the sound quality isn’t the greatest. It’s obviously just fan footage of the sneaks peeks shown at ComicCon. But hey, that’s alright with me. Any little previews I can get of this Fall’s most anticipated movie premiere are OK with me. And these really are the best quality vids I could find.

The first video is clearly for those of you on Team Jacob. And the second, totally Team Edward. Personally, I’m Team Edward all the way and I love that video clip (the screaming fans at ComicCon undoubtedly agree with me). It’s from one of the most vivid scenes I recall from reading the book, so it was great to catch a glimpse of it on screen. All I can say is, Run, Bella, Run!

Hope you enjoy them both.

Twilight Guide’s New Moon Sneak Peeks