Saturday, September 27, 2014

Best Things I Learned While I was 47

Psst. Hey, you.
Yes, YOU.

Do you know what tomorrow is?

It's My Birthday


And I was rather inspired by reading a birthday blog post recently by The Militant Baker blogger, so I decided that this year, in honor of my 48th birthday, I'd try to follow suit and list all the best things I learned while I was 47. I mean really, we all learn stuff on a fairly regular basis if you think about it. And birthdays are a great time to reflect on all that semi-awesome and painstakingly acquired new knowledge, don't you think?

 A lot can happen in a year. And even though I never really feel any different on my birthday than I do any other day of the year, it's still a special sort of day. Kind of. So I guess my gift to myself--and to all of you, no doubt--is some shared moments and milestones from the past 365 days.

So, in no particular order, here's what I've learned...

  • I love Outlander almost as much as I love The Vampire Diaries. And, dude, that's a LOT.
  • Hot dogs taste best with just mustard. Just. Mustard.
  • I'm an invisible loser on Twitter, and that's OK.
  • One phone call can change your whole perspective on people, and life in general.
  • Painting is my favorite escape.
  • Sometimes a song can say everything you can't put into words.
  • My instincts are usually dead right.
  • I don't like "hard apple ale." I hate it, in fact.
  • I do like Moscato. A lot.
  • Sex with the Hubs, like a good wine, improves with age. Yowza! (Apologies to my daughter--for the embarrassment--if she's reading this.)
  • Losing weight is never going to be easy for me, but I have to keep trying.
  • I can still write a fairly good poem.
  • Being an Executrix is hard F'n work. 2 years of it was more than enough.
  • I'm growing tired of Pizza. I know. The horror.
  • Naps are highly underrated.
  • I'd rather sit at home with the Hubs on a Saturday night, watching a movie, than almost anything else in the world.
  • Life isn't perfect, but it isn't supposed to be. 
  • Menopause isn't for sissies. 
  • Unwanted facial hair is the bane of my existence. 
  • Pitch Perfect is still just as funny at the 11th viewing as it is at the 1st. A-ca believe it.
  • A healthy infatuation with Ian Somerhalder isn't the worst thing in the world I could have. 
  • I can control my bitchy-ness. Sometimes.
  • iPhones that get updated and then won't sync across devices are a crime against humanity.
  • Fat girls should seriously think twice before attempting to hike down to Old Man's Cave in Hocking Hills, Ohio. Getting down is easy. Getting up is a totally different story. I give myself points for the attempt--and making it 2/3 of the way down before I realized I'd probably drop dead if I went any further.
  • Husbands who appreciate fat girls' hiking attempts are the best husbands in the world.
  • My daughter's smile brings me complete happiness.
  • My grandkids proved that my heart can hold more love than I ever thought possible.
  • Netflix, Hulu, and Amazon Prime make my TV worth having.
  • It's OK to read 50 Shades of Grey. Even a few times.
  • My value is not determined by my weight.
  • It's OK to cry.
  • I may never finish all the books on my Goodreads To Read list. And I can live with that.
See there? That's quite a bit of learnin' happening in the past year. I could have kept going (rambling is one of my super powers after all), but hey, it's my birthday weekend. That's right. We don't limit birthdays to a single day in this house. It's a whole weekend or nothing! And it's party time.

I'm ready to party

[And of course by "party," I mean dinner at Red Lobster, a little shopping, then maybe a movie at home with the Hubs.] 

Party on.




Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Jimmy Fallon and JT Dance Party

I'm feeling the need for a Hump Day Dance Party. I don't know why these gifs always make me smile, but they do. And since smiles are meant to be shared, then all of you get to share in the glory that is Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake...dancing gifs.

Oh yes. I mean it.

JJT This is Happening
 

So prepare to cut loose with two of my favorite gif dancers on the entire planet. Or at least on the Internet. Put on your favorite dance tune and dance along, won't you, boys and girls?!

 Camp Dancing

JTT Camp Dancing

 Lord of the Dance

JTT Lord of the Dance

Bee Gees Styling

JJT Bee Gees

Rappin It

JJT Posing

Oomph

JJT Pumping

 Slow-Mo Oomph

JJT Pumping More

Old School

JTT Old School

MJ-Like

JTT MJ Style
 

Bye, Bye, Byeeee

JTT N'Sync

I don't know about you, but I feel much better. Wasn't that glorious? 


Tuesday, September 16, 2014

The Lived It List

I was reading a blog the other day (Day Dreaming in Ink) and found a blog post I really liked called The Nectar List. It's kind of the opposite of a Bucket List; in it though they list the things they've done that have been the "nectar" of their existence--the things they did that put the actual living in their life. I really liked that idea, so I thought I'd start my own list. But I don't like the word, nectar, so I'm calling mine the Lived It List instead.

So I'm going to get this rolling with some things I've done in my life that really did put the living in my life--some of them may not seem like much or very important, but that's OK. These things don't need to be life-altering moments or events of profound achievement. The point is that they mean something to YOU, and that they give you something fun to remember as you think about the past, rather than worrying about the future. They could be very sentimental things, funny things, outrageous things--really anything.

So here goes...
  1. I've had my feet in two different oceans (not at the same time, mind you): the Atlantic and the Pacific.
  2. I've been to Graceland. 5 times.
  3. I've seen John Mellencamp in concert, back when he was John Cougar. It Hurt so Good.
  4. I wrote to Carol Burnett when I was a child, and she replied back and sent me an autographed photo.
  5. I've lived in Virginia, Alaska, California, Washington, Texas and Ohio.
  6. I've ridden Seattle fairies.
  7. I've seen a UFO. No, I'm not kidding.
  8. I've watched fireworks up over the Washington Monument.
  9. I've seen the famous ducks at the Peabody Hotel in Memphis, TN.
  10. I've gotten autographs from Donny and Marie Osmond.
  11. I've done the Puyallup (fair, that is).
  12. I've seen a drunk guy pee in an alley on a rainy night in Seattle.
  13. I skipped school to watch Luke and Laura get married on General Hospital.
  14. I've been to Tijuana and NOT drank the water.
  15. I've skinny dipped.
  16. I've eaten Chinese food in China Town, San Francisco. 
  17. I've ridden a trolley car in San Francisco too.
  18. I've eaten Japanese food while sitting on the floor at a restaurant in Victoria, B.C.
  19. I Disco danced in the 70's.
  20. I've gotten a phone call from Muhammad Ali.
  21. I've been to Disney Land, Universal Studios, and Knott's Berry Farm in California.
  22. I've stood in two states at the same time.
  23. I've ridden in a Dune Buggy.
  24. I've eaten lobster on a beach in southern California.
  25. I've been ashed on by Mt. St. Helen's.
  26. I've heard Styx perform live.
  27. I was alive before the Internet. Hey, that's something, folks.
  28. I've had to use a rotary phone...on a party line. Kids today have it too easy!
  29. I wore Vans before they were cool.
  30. I've been in the same room as LaToya Jackson. Granted, it was a BIG room--and it was supposed to have been Michael (in 1983). But hey, it's something.
  31. I've sailed on Lake Michigan at sunset.
  32. I've been to Fantasy Island. OK, well, to one of the places where they shot some of the scenic stuff--otherwise known as the Los Angeles Arboretum.
  33. I've caught fireflies in a jar.
  34. I've been to a Toga Party.
  35. I've seen the Nutcracker Ballet live.
  36. I've been to a Trace Adkins concert--and I had no idea at the time who he was.
  37. I've seen the famous Hollywood sign--from a smog-filled distance.
  38. I've thrown pots on a potter's wheel. Not great ones, but still.
  39. I've been swimming with jellyfish. Though not by choice.
  40. I've broken my arm (as an adult) as the direct result of an uber-realistic nightmare induced by the side effects of medication.
There now, that wasn't so hard was it? That's 40 things I've done that really made me feel like I was living. Some are quite memorable. Some I want to remember forever. Others I'd rather forget. But I lived them none the less. How about you? What would be on YOUR "Lived It List?" Do tell.

I'll Just Wait Here Gif


 

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

WTF Wednesday Meets Murphys Law

I never really thought I'd be cross-categorizing my posts, but hey, that's just the kind of gal I am. And while this blog post didn't really occur to me when I was crying--yes, CRYING--over a broken cutting board today, it will at least serve as a reminder that Murphy's Law can never be escaped. 

Even on WTF Wednesday.

So I was in the kitchen, putting the final touches on dinner: rice, green beans, and pork roast. It smelled yummy. And I was really hungry. So I can only assume that it was my always-overactive appetite and food-fueled excitement that led to the catastrophe at hand.

I lifted the lid off of my cast iron pot that contained said pork roast. 

I moved my hand to the right of the stove, toward the cutting board that always sits on the counter there, with the lid in hand--so that I could put the lid on the cutting board. It was hot, after all, and I needed to protect the counter.

Well apparently that was the precise moment that Mr. Murphy decided rear his ugly head just long enough to make me to drop the cast iron lid...breaking my cutting board.

So what's the big deal, you ask? It's only a cutting board, right?

Um, No. A thousand emphatic and pathetically tear-covered NO's!

This was my only cutting board--and it was a cutting board I've had for over 27 years. It was made by Corning--an all white rectangle of kitchen counter-protecting perfection. It used to look like this:

Corning Cutting Board

Until I dropped that stupid cast iron lid onto it and silently screamed in what seemed like slow motion...WTF?!

I can't even show you the AFTER photo--it's too horrific to share. It was just lying there, shattered into shards of white Corning shrapnel...as Mr. Murphy sat in the corner and laughed his evil and deeply disturbed ass off. 

Oh yes, I cried. And I'm not ashamed. That cutting board has a history. They don't even make those anymore! Which of course is why I'm bidding on another one on Ebay as I type this! I loved that cutting board. It was perfect, and never scratched or anything. Even my mom loved it--she commented on it often when she would visit me. And on more than one occasion she mentioned wishing she had one.

Which reminds me: last year the Hubs and I went to a garage sale. We've been to a lot of garage sales over the years, and in all these years I never, ever, not even once, saw another of these Corning cutting boards at one. I always figured that if I did, I'd get it and send it to my mom. But I never saw one. Until. Last. Year. I actually cried at that garage sale too--simply because my mom passed away in the year prior, so I had no need to find one anymore. And I just couldn't understand why I would finally, after all of these years, find another Corning cutting board AFTER my my mom passed away. Something tells me that not-so-dear old Murphy had something to do with that too. Sick bastard.

Anyway, my aged-to-perfection, pristine white Corning cutting board is now dead and awaiting a proper burial [also known as trash pick-up day]. But if I'm lucky, I'll have a brand new, old Corning cutting board in my position again soon, with a little help from Ebay and company. The new one probably won't be white though. I couldn't find an all white one, but I did find one that has a little bird motif on it. It looks like this:

Corning Cutting Board Ebay

And why that one, you might ask? Because that little motif is the exact motif that my mom's very first set of Corning Ware had. So whenever I use it, it will make me think of her...instead of this awful WTF Wednesday, brought to my kitchen courtesy of Murphy's Law.

Take that, Mr. Murphy.

Monday, August 11, 2014

Keep the Angels Laughing, Robin

I was really shocked and saddened to learn the news of the death of Robin Williams today. I grew up with Mork and Mindy--it was must-see TV for me when it was on the air. Robin was a true original, completely unique and full of life. Many of his movies are my favorites. I just watched Dead Poets Society a few weeks ago and it was just as good as the first time I watched it so many years ago.

What can we say really about a man who gave us so many laughs, so many great movie roles, and so many memories? His life ended too soon. But his legacy of love and laughter will live on through his family, his films, and his fans.

His death is tragic, and may just serve as a reminder that those with the biggest smiles often hide the deepest pain.

Rest in Peace, Robin. Keep the angels laughing, as only you can. And if you get a chance, say hello to my mom for me.

Robin Williams