Obligatory Thankful Post - 2014 Edition

Well folks, since my Obligatory Thankful Post from last year was such a hit (one of my most viewed posts to date), I thought I'd make it annual tradition here on the blog. That way I can over share my heaps [dude, yes, HEAPS] of boundless gratitude about anything and everything from the past year that I am truly thankful for. Like it or not.

Now then, where to start...oh yes. Let's start with Outlander, shall we? 

I don't know how I managed it, but I had never heard of Outlander--neither the book series nor the TV series based on said books that debuted this year--until my online friend, Tracy posted about it on FB. She mentioned having read the series and was excited about the upcoming TV show. Once she gave me the basic plot, it sounded right up my alley so I did some investigating ( i.e. Googling ) on my own. And I'm just amazed that I somehow overlooked an incredibly popular book series that I really should have read long, long ago. Even my mom would have loved it, and had I known about it I'd have bought her the entire series!  I'm currently reading book 3 (Voyager) myself and I'm loving the books so far. And as for the TV series, Outlander?

Outlander Jaime Knee Porn

Yeah, I kinda sort really totally love it! Scottish actor Sam Heughan as Jamie Fraser is just the sort of red-haired eye candy that I love. If I could travel to Scotland and Craigh na Dun, with even the slightest chance of touching mystical stones and traveling back in time to 18th century Scotland and meeting that guy, I'd surely want do it. But hey, I'm married, and I am 'no a hoor' [<-- inside Outlander joke right there]. But yeah, totally thankful for finding out about Outlander. Thanks, Tracy! If you haven't read the books or watched the series, I can highly recommend them both. 

I'm also thankful for a year with my Keurig coffee machine. Holla! Because everyone deserves a fresh cup of coffee, every single time. I'd love it more if the K-Cups were recyclable. I mean, come on, Keurig, it's almost 2015. Get it together. But since I recycle everything else that I can, and since I always use cloth bags at the grocery store, I think I'm entitled to a wee bit of latitude on the plastic K-Cups usage. Coffee, with a side of guilt anyone?!

Thor Likes Coffee

I'm very thankful to have a car with Remote Start again. This may seem like something trivial if you live in a warmer climate. But here in Ohio, it gets mighty cold in the winter. And having to run out and start a car when it's 10 below is not exactly my idea of fun. The older I get it's even less fun. Remote start means I no longer have to become a human Popsicle in order to start my car, and that, as Martha would say, is a very good thing.

Anna Frozen Dress Gif

And hey, I'm also thankful for The Monkees. Because really, I don't think The Monkees get enough thanks.

The Monkees

Finally, since I want to keep this short...it is a holiday week after all...I'll just take this moment to say that I'm very thankful for my Memories. I've had some wonderful Thanksgivings over the years. I spend a lot of them missing my family since we all live far apart from each other. But I do think fondly of the wonderful Turkey Days I did get to spend with them. And this one in particular comes to mind...and the meal we had was just one of the best of my childhood. It was circa 1976 (or 77).

My mom made this incredible spread all by herself. She went all out and worked so hard to make an amazing meal for the family. She even used the good China! The meal had all our usuals, plus a few extras.
  1. Turkey and Dressing (Mom seldom stuffed the bird itself; she liked it separate, as do I).
  2. Mashed Potatoes (lump-free) and a gravy so good you could have drank it from the bowl.
  3. Yams, of course. You gotta have Yams.
  4. Fried Chicken??? Dang. How'd that get there?!
  5. Apple Salad. An old family recipe that I still love at holiday time. Notice the classic Tupperware it's being served in here. I wish I had that bowl. I would totally put my Apple Salad in it.
  6. Braided homemade bread. That was a thing of beauty! And there wasn't much left when we were done with dinner. 
  7.  A Veggie Tray. Seems silly to have that when everything else fills you up. But it's always good.
  8. And for dessert? Pie and English Trifle. Mom's Trifle was the best. I still like to make it at Christmas time. Sometimes for Turkey Day too, if the mood strikes.
Memories mean everything. Especially as the memories of my family grow to be all I have left. I am thankful for them though, and will cherish them always.

On that note, I hope you enjoyed my Obligatory Thankful Post for 2014. And I also hope that you and your family have a truly wonderful day of family, feast, and fun that you'll not soon forget. 

And don't forget to pack some Tums, just in case you eat a bit too much.

Gobble, gobble.

Perfect Pork Roast 30 Years in the Making

Pork Roast.

I have tried for years to make a good Pork Roast.

Literally, three decades, people.


Yes, really.

And somehow, after years of struggle, torment, and failure after pork roasted failure, I finally managed to achieve a perfect Pork Roast. You just don't even know how I felt in that moment. I was like...

Hallelujah gif

So after achieving this level of personal culinary greatness, I felt it only appropriate that I share the recipe with you, so that you, too, can grab the spice-rubbed and pork roasted gold, should you feel so inclined. And I know you want to see it, right? So here it is. Prepare yourself to bask in the shadow of greatness.

Spice Rubbed Pork Roast Recipe

The best part is, it was super easy to make. I like easy. Easy is good. I know you can relate. So lets get to the ingredients you'll need.

1 Three pound Pork Shoulder Roast
2 TBSP Kosher Salt
2 TBSP Granulated Garlic
1 TBSP Pepper
1 TBSP Onion Powder
1 TBSP Dried Oregano

  • Preheat oven to 325.
  • Combine all your spices in a bowl.
  • Rub the spices all over every piggy inch of your pork roast.
  • Place roast on a rack in your desired baking dish. I used a square ceramic dish. 
  • Bake uncovered for 3 hours or until done.
  • Let rest for at least 15 minutes before slicing.
Now all oven temps seem to vary, so your roast might take a little more or less time. But three hours worked for me.

And how do I know just how amazingly good this pork roast was? 

Because the Hubs. 

He usually wants ketchup on my pork roast--because it's never been the greatest. And you know how men are about ketchup, right?

Fancy Sauce

But not this time. No-sir-eeeee. This time it was so tender and juicy and flavorful, he had no need for the red stuff that disguises all other flavors, aka ketchup. And that, my friends, is called a win.

So I hope you'll try this recipe and I hope you'll love it as much as the Hubs and I did. 

Go ahead. Get your pig on.

Tom Hiddleston

Is anyone else Hiddlestoned? You know, part of the Tom Hiddleston fangirl army?!

Tom Hiddleston Army

Maybe it's because I have a thing for gingers (the Hubs is a ginger, after all, and my favorite one). Maybe it's because he's British. Maybe it's just because he's increeeeddddiiiibbbbblllllyyyy sexy. And sweet. And smart. I mean, what's not to love?

He loves Shakespeare. 
His fave TV show is Fawlty Towers. 
He can play a mean game of table tennis. 
He loves to read.
And he knows how to dance.

Anyhoots, I'm crushing on Hiddles lately. And I'm not ashamed.

Tom Hiddleston Meme

I even created a board for Hiddles on Pinterest. Because, you know...

Fan Girls

So feel free to give me a shout out if you're in the Hiddlestoners Army too. Us fangirls gotta stick together.

Mulligan Stew

Let's talk Mulligan Stew for a moment, shall we?

But first, let me clarify. When I say Mulligan Stew, I do not mean the 1977 TV show of the same name.

Mulligan's Stew
Although I do have a faint memory of watching that TV show on occasion as a child [yes, I am THAT old], it's not really what I want to talk about.

Nor do I mean Mulligan Stew, the Irish-Celtic band.

Mulligan Stew Band

Not that there's anything wrong at all with that band or their music. In fact, if you're fond of traditional Irish music, I highly recommend them! They're on the o'Facebook and such, so go check them out, lads and lassies.

What I want to talk about, since it is Tasty Tuesday after all, is Mulligan Stew...the recipe. 

Yes of Course Loki

Yes, friends, Mulligan Stew. And if you go and Google that right this very minute, you will likely find many different recipes for Mulligan Stew. But there's no need for Google today at all, because I'm going to share with you MY own personal family recipe. And not only is it yummy, it's super easy to make, and only requires 4...count them...4 ingredients!

This Gonna Be Good

This recipe is a slightly altered version of my Mom's recipe. I add corn to mine, which she didn't do. But I like it with corn, so that's just how I roll. And this is the obligatory food photo.

Mulligan Stew

So let me break it all down into the details and such.

1 Large Can Pork and Beaqns (I believe it was 53oz)
2 Cans Diced Tomatoes (any brand you like, approx 15oz each)
1 16oz Bag of Frozen Corn (I use generic, because I'm just cheap frugal like that)
1 Pound of Ground Beef OR Ground Turkey (I use turkey--trust me, you can't tell the difference)
1 Pair of Pants. Er, oops. My bad.

No Need For Pants

1.  In a Dutch oven or other large pot, brown your ground meat.
2. After the meat is browned, add your pork and beans, diced tomatoes, and corn. Stir to combine.
3. Cook on medium for 5 minutes, then reduce heat and simmer on low for another 5-10 minutes, or until heated through.
4. Blow on it. Wait a bit for it to cool. Don't rush it, people. Then eat and enjoy!

Waiting Reaction Gif

This recipe is brought to you by my huge fangirl crush on Tom Hiddleston. Why?

Because Tom Hiddleston

Best Things I Learned While I was 47

Psst. Hey, you.
Yes, YOU.

Do you know what tomorrow is?

It's My Birthday

And I was rather inspired by reading a birthday blog post recently by The Militant Baker blogger, so I decided that this year, in honor of my 48th birthday, I'd try to follow suit and list all the best things I learned while I was 47. I mean really, we all learn stuff on a fairly regular basis if you think about it. And birthdays are a great time to reflect on all that semi-awesome and painstakingly acquired new knowledge, don't you think?

 A lot can happen in a year. And even though I never really feel any different on my birthday than I do any other day of the year, it's still a special sort of day. Kind of. So I guess my gift to myself--and to all of you, no doubt--is some shared moments and milestones from the past 365 days.

So, in no particular order, here's what I've learned...

  • I love Outlander almost as much as I love The Vampire Diaries. And, dude, that's a LOT.
  • Hot dogs taste best with just mustard. Just. Mustard.
  • I'm an invisible loser on Twitter, and that's OK.
  • One phone call can change your whole perspective on people, and life in general.
  • Painting is my favorite escape.
  • Sometimes a song can say everything you can't put into words.
  • My instincts are usually dead right.
  • I don't like "hard apple ale." I hate it, in fact.
  • I do like Moscato. A lot.
  • Sex with the Hubs, like a good wine, improves with age. Yowza! (Apologies to my daughter--for the embarrassment--if she's reading this.)
  • Losing weight is never going to be easy for me, but I have to keep trying.
  • I can still write a fairly good poem.
  • Being an Executrix is hard F'n work. 2 years of it was more than enough.
  • I'm growing tired of Pizza. I know. The horror.
  • Naps are highly underrated.
  • I'd rather sit at home with the Hubs on a Saturday night, watching a movie, than almost anything else in the world.
  • Life isn't perfect, but it isn't supposed to be. 
  • Menopause isn't for sissies. 
  • Unwanted facial hair is the bane of my existence. 
  • Pitch Perfect is still just as funny at the 11th viewing as it is at the 1st. A-ca believe it.
  • A healthy infatuation with Ian Somerhalder isn't the worst thing in the world I could have. 
  • I can control my bitchy-ness. Sometimes.
  • iPhones that get updated and then won't sync across devices are a crime against humanity.
  • Fat girls should seriously think twice before attempting to hike down to Old Man's Cave in Hocking Hills, Ohio. Getting down is easy. Getting up is a totally different story. I give myself points for the attempt--and making it 2/3 of the way down before I realized I'd probably drop dead if I went any further.
  • Husbands who appreciate fat girls' hiking attempts are the best husbands in the world.
  • My daughter's smile brings me complete happiness.
  • My grandkids proved that my heart can hold more love than I ever thought possible.
  • Netflix, Hulu, and Amazon Prime make my TV worth having.
  • It's OK to read 50 Shades of Grey. Even a few times.
  • My value is not determined by my weight.
  • It's OK to cry.
  • I may never finish all the books on my Goodreads To Read list. And I can live with that.
See there? That's quite a bit of learnin' happening in the past year. I could have kept going (rambling is one of my super powers after all), but hey, it's my birthday weekend. That's right. We don't limit birthdays to a single day in this house. It's a whole weekend or nothing! And it's party time.

I'm ready to party

[And of course by "party," I mean dinner at Red Lobster, a little shopping, then maybe a movie at home with the Hubs.] 

Party on.

Jimmy Fallon and JT Dance Party

I'm feeling the need for a Hump Day Dance Party. I don't know why these gifs always make me smile, but they do. And since smiles are meant to be shared, then all of you get to share in the glory that is Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake...dancing gifs.

Oh yes. I mean it.

JJT This is Happening

So prepare to cut loose with two of my favorite gif dancers on the entire planet. Or at least on the Internet. Put on your favorite dance tune and dance along, won't you, boys and girls?!

 Camp Dancing

JTT Camp Dancing

 Lord of the Dance

JTT Lord of the Dance

Bee Gees Styling

JJT Bee Gees

Rappin It

JJT Posing


JJT Pumping

 Slow-Mo Oomph

JJT Pumping More

Old School

JTT Old School


JTT MJ Style

Bye, Bye, Byeeee

JTT N'Sync

I don't know about you, but I feel much better. Wasn't that glorious? 

The Lived It List

I was reading a blog the other day (Day Dreaming in Ink) and found a blog post I really liked called The Nectar List. It's kind of the opposite of a Bucket List; in it though they list the things they've done that have been the "nectar" of their existence--the things they did that put the actual living in their life. I really liked that idea, so I thought I'd start my own list. But I don't like the word, nectar, so I'm calling mine the Lived It List instead.

So I'm going to get this rolling with some things I've done in my life that really did put the living in my life--some of them may not seem like much or very important, but that's OK. These things don't need to be life-altering moments or events of profound achievement. The point is that they mean something to YOU, and that they give you something fun to remember as you think about the past, rather than worrying about the future. They could be very sentimental things, funny things, outrageous things--really anything.

So here goes...
  1. I've had my feet in two different oceans (not at the same time, mind you): the Atlantic and the Pacific.
  2. I've been to Graceland. 5 times.
  3. I've seen John Mellencamp in concert, back when he was John Cougar. It Hurt so Good.
  4. I wrote to Carol Burnett when I was a child, and she replied back and sent me an autographed photo.
  5. I've lived in Virginia, Alaska, California, Washington, Texas and Ohio.
  6. I've ridden Seattle fairies.
  7. I've seen a UFO. No, I'm not kidding.
  8. I've watched fireworks up over the Washington Monument.
  9. I've seen the famous ducks at the Peabody Hotel in Memphis, TN.
  10. I've gotten autographs from Donny and Marie Osmond.
  11. I've done the Puyallup (fair, that is).
  12. I've seen a drunk guy pee in an alley on a rainy night in Seattle.
  13. I skipped school to watch Luke and Laura get married on General Hospital.
  14. I've been to Tijuana and NOT drank the water.
  15. I've skinny dipped.
  16. I've eaten Chinese food in China Town, San Francisco. 
  17. I've ridden a trolley car in San Francisco too.
  18. I've eaten Japanese food while sitting on the floor at a restaurant in Victoria, B.C.
  19. I Disco danced in the 70's.
  20. I've gotten a phone call from Muhammad Ali.
  21. I've been to Disney Land, Universal Studios, and Knott's Berry Farm in California.
  22. I've stood in two states at the same time.
  23. I've ridden in a Dune Buggy.
  24. I've eaten lobster on a beach in southern California.
  25. I've been ashed on by Mt. St. Helen's.
  26. I've heard Styx perform live.
  27. I was alive before the Internet. Hey, that's something, folks.
  28. I've had to use a rotary phone...on a party line. Kids today have it too easy!
  29. I wore Vans before they were cool.
  30. I've been in the same room as LaToya Jackson. Granted, it was a BIG room--and it was supposed to have been Michael (in 1983). But hey, it's something.
  31. I've sailed on Lake Michigan at sunset.
  32. I've been to Fantasy Island. OK, well, to one of the places where they shot some of the scenic stuff--otherwise known as the Los Angeles Arboretum.
  33. I've caught fireflies in a jar.
  34. I've been to a Toga Party.
  35. I've seen the Nutcracker Ballet live.
  36. I've been to a Trace Adkins concert--and I had no idea at the time who he was.
  37. I've seen the famous Hollywood sign--from a smog-filled distance.
  38. I've thrown pots on a potter's wheel. Not great ones, but still.
  39. I've been swimming with jellyfish. Though not by choice.
  40. I've broken my arm (as an adult) as the direct result of an uber-realistic nightmare induced by the side effects of medication.
There now, that wasn't so hard was it? That's 40 things I've done that really made me feel like I was living. Some are quite memorable. Some I want to remember forever. Others I'd rather forget. But I lived them none the less. How about you? What would be on YOUR "Lived It List?" Do tell.

I'll Just Wait Here Gif


WTF Wednesday Meets Murphys Law

I never really thought I'd be cross-categorizing my posts, but hey, that's just the kind of gal I am. And while this blog post didn't really occur to me when I was crying--yes, CRYING--over a broken cutting board today, it will at least serve as a reminder that Murphy's Law can never be escaped. 

Even on WTF Wednesday.

So I was in the kitchen, putting the final touches on dinner: rice, green beans, and pork roast. It smelled yummy. And I was really hungry. So I can only assume that it was my always-overactive appetite and food-fueled excitement that led to the catastrophe at hand.

I lifted the lid off of my cast iron pot that contained said pork roast. 

I moved my hand to the right of the stove, toward the cutting board that always sits on the counter there, with the lid in hand--so that I could put the lid on the cutting board. It was hot, after all, and I needed to protect the counter.

Well apparently that was the precise moment that Mr. Murphy decided rear his ugly head just long enough to make me to drop the cast iron lid...breaking my cutting board.

So what's the big deal, you ask? It's only a cutting board, right?

Um, No. A thousand emphatic and pathetically tear-covered NO's!

This was my only cutting board--and it was a cutting board I've had for over 27 years. It was made by Corning--an all white rectangle of kitchen counter-protecting perfection. It used to look like this:

Corning Cutting Board

Until I dropped that stupid cast iron lid onto it and silently screamed in what seemed like slow motion...WTF?!

I can't even show you the AFTER photo--it's too horrific to share. It was just lying there, shattered into shards of white Corning shrapnel...as Mr. Murphy sat in the corner and laughed his evil and deeply disturbed ass off. 

Oh yes, I cried. And I'm not ashamed. That cutting board has a history. They don't even make those anymore! Which of course is why I'm bidding on another one on Ebay as I type this! I loved that cutting board. It was perfect, and never scratched or anything. Even my mom loved it--she commented on it often when she would visit me. And on more than one occasion she mentioned wishing she had one.

Which reminds me: last year the Hubs and I went to a garage sale. We've been to a lot of garage sales over the years, and in all these years I never, ever, not even once, saw another of these Corning cutting boards at one. I always figured that if I did, I'd get it and send it to my mom. But I never saw one. Until. Last. Year. I actually cried at that garage sale too--simply because my mom passed away in the year prior, so I had no need to find one anymore. And I just couldn't understand why I would finally, after all of these years, find another Corning cutting board AFTER my my mom passed away. Something tells me that not-so-dear old Murphy had something to do with that too. Sick bastard.

Anyway, my aged-to-perfection, pristine white Corning cutting board is now dead and awaiting a proper burial [also known as trash pick-up day]. But if I'm lucky, I'll have a brand new, old Corning cutting board in my position again soon, with a little help from Ebay and company. The new one probably won't be white though. I couldn't find an all white one, but I did find one that has a little bird motif on it. It looks like this:

Corning Cutting Board Ebay

And why that one, you might ask? Because that little motif is the exact motif that my mom's very first set of Corning Ware had. So whenever I use it, it will make me think of her...instead of this awful WTF Wednesday, brought to my kitchen courtesy of Murphy's Law.

Take that, Mr. Murphy.

Keep the Angels Laughing, Robin

I was really shocked and saddened to learn the news of the death of Robin Williams today. I grew up with Mork and Mindy--it was must-see TV for me when it was on the air. Robin was a true original, completely unique and full of life. Many of his movies are my favorites. I just watched Dead Poets Society a few weeks ago and it was just as good as the first time I watched it so many years ago.

What can we say really about a man who gave us so many laughs, so many great movie roles, and so many memories? His life ended too soon. But his legacy of love and laughter will live on through his family, his films, and his fans.

His death is tragic, and may just serve as a reminder that those with the biggest smiles often hide the deepest pain.

Rest in Peace, Robin. Keep the angels laughing, as only you can. And if you get a chance, say hello to my mom for me.

Robin Williams

Not Your Average Wiener

As I was shopping at the grocery store the other day, I happened upon a jar of wieners.

What's that you ask? Did I just say a jar of wieners?

Why, yes, yes I did.

But they aren't just ANY wieners. No, no. They are Germany's #1 brand of "extra crunchy" wieners. [Is there any other kind?] That's right. Packed in brine and selling for the low, low price of $6.29.

Really? I mean, dare I say it...


Pork Wieners in a Jar

Maybe it's just me, but I find this rather odd. And I'm not sure what is more disturbing to me: the fact that these wieners are in a jar; or, the fact that they are "extra crunchy" and packed in brine to boot.

Dude. Wieners should not be a jar. Nor should they be crunchy. Like, ever.


And come on now, $6.29? For FIVE crunchy wieners? 

Are you kidding me

Seriously. No wiener is worth that. None of them. 

But hey, it did make for an interesting trip to the grocery store. And a blog post. That's something.

Flip It - Flip it Good

Friday Flip Offs MJ

It's been awhile since I've done any Friday Flip-Offs, so I figure I'm overdue. Please join me in my unnecessary rantics and acts of utter whinery, won't you?

1.  Flip Off, Facebook. Yeah, for being down today. It was a horror-filled few moments, I gotta tell you. I'm not sure how I made it through without a full blown panic attack. But at least I got a bathroom break out of it. It was scary though. For reals.

Facebook Down

I do think this is a good opportunity to cast my vote for Channing Tatum to star in FACEBOOK DOWN: THE MOVIE.  Who wants to start the petition?

2.  Flip Off, New GE Dryer. Yeah, for your ability to cease functioning after only two weeks of use. I mean seriously, how does a brand spanking new appliance stop working after just two weeks. WTH is up with that?

WTH Reaction

It turned out to be a broken belt, and I was fortunate enough to have a repair man available the next day to fix it. But still. 2 weeks old and the belt breaks? Is this the appliance gods' way of telling me I should have bought a Maytag?! Only time will tell.

3.  Flip Off, Pizza Delivery People. Yeah, for keeping me waiting for over a freaking hour for my pizza delivery. In the name of all that is good and Holy--how hard is it to deliver a pizza to a starving, hormonal woman, who only lives 3/4 of a mile from your store? Has the world gone mad? Why am I tormented so?

What is the deal with my life reaction gif

OK, there's a chance I'm being a bit melodramatic here. But dammit, don't ever come between a woman and her pizza! It did have a happy ending though: I ended up getting the pizza for free because it took so long. And that almost made up for the near starvation of it all.

4.  Flip Off, Centipede. Yeah, the one that I saw out of the corner of my eye scurrying across the living room floor as I was reading book one of the Outlander series the other night. Claire was just about to be transported through a time portal  from 1945 to 18th century Scotland, and you picked that precise moment to appear in my field of vision?

Oh Come On Reaction Gif

Those over-legged, dastardly creatures are as annoying as they are creepy and fast. Even at my own full speed--which, granted, is not much faster than a jaunt--I couldn't catch that guy after I threw down my iPad and hurled myself in his general direction. He's still in there somewhere. Hiding. And waiting for the perfect moment to interrupt my sojourn into virtual Scotland once again. Bastard.

5.  And finally, Flip Off, DVR. Yeah, for always cutting off the last minute or two of every single show I record, so that I never really know what happens at the end of each episode. I know it's going to cut off every time I watch something. But still, every time...

No No No Reaction Gif

OK, so I guess that's enough of my self-indulgent complaint-o-rama for today. It's good to purge though, ya know? Do you have any flip-offs for the week? Leave a comment and share them. :)

Italian Summer Salad

It's Tuesday, so you know what that means. It means I tried a new recipe and loved it enough to share it with you. Or it means I'm bored and all I can think about is food. I'll let you decide which is true as I get this Tasty Tuesday party started.

I Love Food Reaction Gif

1) I was trying to come up with a simple and tasty summer salad full of veggies. And 2) I wanted to be able to use some of the Olive Garden salad dressing I had in the pantry. So really at that point it just became about the math, and my Italian Summer Salad was born.

Genius Reaction Gif

I know you want the deets, so I won't prolong your anticipation. But first, here's a photo to get your mouth watering for ya.

Italian Salad Tasty Tuesday Recipe

1 Pint Cherry or Grape Tomatoes, cut in halves
1 Can of Black Olives, cut in halves
1 Cucumber, peeled and diced
1 Red Bell Pepper (or whatever color you like), diced
4 Celery Stalks, diced
1 Cup of Shredded Mozzarella Cheese
1 Cup of Olive Garden salad dressing
1 TBSP McCormick's Salad Supreme seasoning (more or less to taste--I didn't actually measure mine)

Combine all the vegetables and the cheese, and then pour in the salad dressing and add the seasoning. Stir well to combine. Chill for an hour or two before serving. 

Seriously, that's it. Could it BE any easier?

Chandler and Joey Clapping Reaction Gif

Now come on, let's eat!