Who's Who

Apparently, I'm somebody, according to Strathmore's Who's Who. I got a letter that confirms this, so hey, it must be true.

It is my pleasure to inform you that your information was reviewed and accepted for inclusion in the 2009 edition. Strathmore's Who's Who each year recognizes and selects key executives, professionals, and organizations in all disciplines and industries for outstanding business and professional achievements. Those who have reached a distinguished level of success in their chosen profession share this recognition.

OK, so, not only am I "distinguished," but I also have "outstanding business and professional achievements." That's so interesting! I didn't know that having a net income of $0 from my business was considered an outstanding business achievement! Holy heck, I'm doing better than I thought!

What's next? Will Forbes be calling me for the next Fortune 500?!  And surely Oprah will want an interview to extol the merits of my highly tuned business acumen.  Perhaps even The Donald will be calling, wanting some insight from a clearly accomplished business professional.  Like, for real.

That letter from Strathmore made my day. Perhaps I should frame it and hang it on the wall alongside my other nonexistent awards and accolades, so that I can give my name the spotlight it deserves. But wait...what's this? My name is nowhere on this letter. It's not addressed to me at all. It says...Dear...Company Owner. Apparently, I'm so distinguished and accomplished that they can't even address me by name?!


What a racket.  I wish I had a dollar for every time I got one of these letters. (Seriously, that would add up to a LOT of money by now!) Yeah, they're gonna put my name in a book alright. But the only way I'll see it myself is to buy the damned book, which is, of course, the whole point of the letter.

Do people really fall for this? If so, I am definitely in the wrong business. And let's not overlook the fact that this letter came...by fax, just as all news of professional accomplishment and achievement should come.


Gotta give props to the folks at Strathmore though. If they're making money in this economy with this gimmick, more power to 'em.  It's the American way.