Best Things I Learned in 2019

Normally, I would do a "Best Things I Learned" post around my birthday in September. But since I'm trying to get back into a regular posting groove, I thought I'd end the year--and the decade--with a "Best Things I Learned" post instead. And I think we'll do it Outlander style to make it more fun. 

These are never in any particular order, because frankly, prioritizing these would just make my brain hurt. What can I say? I'm a teacher on Christmas break. I'm trying to give my brain a rest and I don't want to work that hard. So anyhoodle, Are you ready?

Best Things I Learned While I Was 49

It was bound to happen, folks. Once I get within spitting distance of a birthday, there's bound be a post about the 'best things I learned while I was...," in this case, 49. These annual posts of mine are usually my most popular of the year. Go figure. And even though you might not think it's possible to top the Best Things I Learned While I Was 48, (I know, right?) who knows what could happen?

And you know, I'm turning the big Hawaii 5-0 (without the Hawaii, unfortunately). So you know what that means.

Yeah, if by 'party' you mean my annual refusal to cook dinner on my birthday, going out to eat, and then falling asleep on the couch by 11:30 or so (it's a work night, after all). Party on, Garth.

So anyhoodle, lets get this best-things-I-learned-while-I-was-49 post underway, before I officially become part of the Over the Hill club. I've got until September 28 to be 49, and I will not go quietly or gracefully into my 50's, people. I'm holding onto my 40's until the very last second!

You know the drill by now: these pearls of forty-nine-year-old wisdom are in no particular order...

• Going back to college, for a second master's degree no less, is not for the weak of heart, or mind, or body...or bank account--but then again, that's what student loans are for, right? As that old saying goes, "he who dies with the most student loan debt...only gets out of it by dying."
• When David Bowie, Alan Rickman, Prince, and Gene Wilder all die in the same year, you realize that a huge part of your youth died with them...and it puts things into perspective.

•  Any idiot can run for president. And one of them will probably win. 

• Finding out that The Vampire Diaries is ending after the 2016-17 season is going to put a bit of a kink in my TVD obsession posts. Not to mention the withdrawals. And all the feels from the absence of Damon my favorite immortals! 

• Getting a teaching job after 7 years of looking (and 7 years of rejection) is kind of maybe totally awesome. 
• I have an addiction to Erin Condren planners and I don't care who knows it. Life planner? Check. Planner for journaling? Check. Teacher Planner? Check. Washi tape and stickers galore to decorate the pages of said planners? Double check.

• You should never underestimate the effect that opening a ginormous pack of gelly roll pens can have on your life, no matter how old you are.
• The word, 'ginormous' doesn't get highlighted by the spellchecker in my browser. It seems like a fake word (gigantic+enormous, anyone?), but I checked and it is indeed in the dictionary. [Oh sure. But 'boom chucka lucka' can't make the cut.]
• When people accuse you of doing things you didn't do, and they refuse to believe you no matter what you say or do, and all they do is spew venom and hate at you, it's perfectly OK to cut ties with those people. Even if they're family. 

• Unless I'm going to be swept away into a fairy tale land full of munchkins, and tin men, and Oz (Oh My!)--and it becomes a Ruby Shoes Day for a skippidy-do-walk down a yellow brick road with 3 new besties and my little dog, too--then I don't want to be within 3 miles of a tornado ever again.

• Just because someone texts you, it doesn't mean you have to read it right that very minute. Or even reply. No, seriously.
• Life is better with cheesecake.
• I don't like soda. I do, however, like an occasional pop.

• Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy art supplies, and books, and music...and that's pretty much the same thing in my book.
• Netflix awesomely allows you to binge-watch entire seasons without commercials and without annoying holidays and hiatuses...so that you can subsequently feel utterly sad, empty, and completely alone when the season or series ends.
• I have no idea who Todd Chrisley is or why he has his own reality TV show. But I think if we met we would be best friends.
• When the official Vampire Diaries page on Facebook posts a TVD meme you made, it kind of makes your day. [Who am I kidding? It made my whole year.]
• Some like it Scot.

Sam Heughan, aka Jamie Fraser on Outlander

• Documenting your life is important. Do it in photos. Do it in a planner. Do it in a journal. But do it. Your kids will appreciate it. Trust me.
• If you decide at the last minute to make a favorite recipe, and you run to the store to get the ingredients to make it, you will get home and start making it, only to realize that you forgot the main ingredient.
• The world's best garden is the one you grow with your granddaughter.

• I'm still not over the end of LOST, saying goodbye to my FRIENDS, or the death of McDreamy. And I'm OK with that.

Well now, that is quite a lot of acquired knowledge from the last year of my life. But before I finish this ode to my fading forties, I just want to add that even though I don't usually want gifts on my birthday, since turning 50 is a milestone year, I would not be opposed to a present this year. 

You know, like...

Or...

And you know, even though it's kind of not exciting to be turning the big 5-0, at least I do get to have a birthday (hello, bright side? I'm talking to you!), right? So let's just bring this Best Things I Learned When I was 49 post to a  birthday-worthy finish, shall we?

Can you say, Christina and Meredith Dance Party, boys and girls?!

Here's to the last 24 hours of my 49th year...and the beginning of (hopefully) the fabulous 50's. Dance it out, people.

Things I Learned While I was 48

Well it's that time of year of again. You know, the day in which I honor the awe and wonder that is the 28th day of September. Also known as the day of my birth. Yep.

And due to my wildly popular Best Things I Learned While I was 47 post last year, I thought I'd try to capitalize on a post format that worked so well last year, and bring that same glorious magic to my 48th year of living on planet earth as well. Predictability is highly underrated. Just sayin.

I know you're a-tingle with anticipation. So let's get right to it, shall we?

As always, in no particular order, here's what I learned over the past 365 days...

• Alcoholic Root Beer tastes like Root Beer. With alcohol in it. 
• The only thing worse than my Obamacare health insurance payments is having the stomach flu and vomiting multiple times in one day. But it was almost too close to call.
• It is possible to plan an entire wedding in two months without going completely insane.
• Testosterone causes objects to become invisible to men when they're looking for them--even when they're right in front them. 
• Conversely, estrogen gives women the power to find things that are completely invisible to men.
• Taking your daughter and granddaughter to see Cinderella is almost as magical as the movie itself.
• No one is quite as hot as Richard Madden as the King of the North. Except maybe Richard Madden as Prince Charming. 

• Snagajob always seems to have amazeballs careers waiting for me. You know, like selling Avon, or working at Taco Bell. 
• It's OK if the Hubs wants to sleep with a college student. As long as it's me.
• The easiest way to piss someone off is to reply 'K' to a paragraph-long text.
• The best Dance Party is the Carlton Dance Party.
• I have so much in common with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. (We all eat at Subway sometimes, so yeah, it counts.)
• KFC's recent 'Colonel' commercials are just creepy enough to make me NOT want to eat at KFC. 
• The only thing worse than KFC's 'Colonel' commercials are Matthew McConaughey's Lincoln commercials. Newsflash, Lincoln execs: if you wanna sell Lincolns, it's not that difficult.

• I stop taking anyone seriously as soon as they use the word, 'Supposably.'
• I'm pretty sure rocket science is far less complicated than getting the seal off of my bottle of International Delight creamer.
• If the power's going to go out during a storm, it will be the same day you just went to the grocery store and your frig is crammed full of food.
• I like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain...
• I'm glad I don't have to draw on my eyebrows every day, because at this point in my life I'm sure I'd forget to do that.
• My need for bifocals became clear the moment I tried to pick up a wad of hair off the carpet. And it was a centipede.
• Closing your eyes while you eat a candy bar makes it lose its calories. I read that on the Internet so I know it's true.

Finally, now that my birthday is nearing its end, I'm just sitting here waiting for my birthday dessert to arrive.

The cake would be awesome too.

Best Things I Learned While I was 47

Psst. Hey, you.

Yes, YOU.

Do you know what tomorrow is?

And I was rather inspired by reading a birthday blog post recently by The Militant Baker blogger, so I decided that this year, in honor of my 48th birthday, I'd try to follow suit and list all the best things I learned while I was 47. I mean really, we all learn stuff on a fairly regular basis if you think about it. And birthdays are a great time to reflect on all that semi-awesome and painstakingly acquired new knowledge, don't you think?

 A lot can happen in a year. And even though I never really feel any different on my birthday than I do any other day of the year, it's still a special sort of day. Kind of. So I guess my gift to myself--and to all of you, no doubt--is some shared moments and milestones from the past 365 days.

So, in no particular order, here's what I've learned...

• I love Outlander almost as much as I love The Vampire Diaries. And, dude, that's a LOT.
• Hot dogs taste best with just mustard. Just. Mustard.
• I'm an invisible loser on Twitter, and that's OK.
• One phone call can change your whole perspective on people, and life in general.
• Painting is my favorite escape.
• Sometimes a song can say everything you can't put into words.
• My instincts are usually dead right.
• I don't like "hard apple ale." I hate it, in fact.
• I do like Moscato. A lot.
• Sex with the Hubs, like a good wine, improves with age. Yowza! (Apologies to my daughter--for the embarrassment--if she's reading this.)
• Losing weight is never going to be easy for me, but I have to keep trying.
• I can still write a fairly good poem.
• Being an Executrix is hard F'n work. 2 years of it was more than enough.
• I'm growing tired of Pizza. I know. The horror.
• Naps are highly underrated.
• I'd rather sit at home with the Hubs on a Saturday night, watching a movie, than almost anything else in the world.
• Life isn't perfect, but it isn't supposed to be. 
• Menopause isn't for sissies. 
• Unwanted facial hair is the bane of my existence. 
• Pitch Perfect is still just as funny at the 11th viewing as it is at the 1st. A-ca believe it.
• A healthy infatuation with Ian Somerhalder isn't the worst thing in the world I could have. 
• I can control my bitchy-ness. Sometimes.
• iPhones that get updated and then won't sync across devices are a crime against humanity.
• Fat girls should seriously think twice before attempting to hike down to Old Man's Cave in Hocking Hills, Ohio. Getting down is easy. Getting up is a totally different story. I give myself points for the attempt--and making it 2/3 of the way down before I realized I'd probably drop dead if I went any further.
• Husbands who appreciate fat girls' hiking attempts are the best husbands in the world.
• My daughter's smile brings me complete happiness.
• My grandkids proved that my heart can hold more love than I ever thought possible.
• Netflix, Hulu, and Amazon Prime make my TV worth having.
• It's OK to read 50 Shades of Grey. Even a few times.
• My value is not determined by my weight.
• It's OK to cry.
• I may never finish all the books on my Goodreads To Read list. And I can live with that.

See there? That's quite a bit of learnin' happening in the past year. I could have kept going (rambling is one of my super powers after all), but hey, it's my birthday weekend. That's right. We don't limit birthdays to a single day in this house. It's a whole weekend or nothing! And it's party time.

[And of course by "party," I mean dinner at Red Lobster, a little shopping, then maybe a movie at home with the Hubs.] 

Party on.