30 Minute Meals My Ass

For you folks that don't know, I'm kind of addicted to the Food Network. I can watch that almost any day or time and find something I want to watch. I also get a lot of recipes from watching it too.  I baby-sit my granddaughter all day four days per week, and I have that channel on literally all day long. I'm thinking that maybe she'll absorb it all by osmosis or something and then one day she'll want to become a chef and name her restaurant after me. Tinalicious could be a great eatery name, could it not? ;)

I have some favorite and not-so-favorite chefs and cooks on the FN for various reasons.

Bobby Flay ~ Fave

Chef Bobby Flay

It's because he's a redhead mostly. The Hubs is a redhead, and it dawned on me at some point in the last few years that this must be the reason I am drawn to redheaded celebrity men.  [David Caruso anyone? Yowza.]

Actor David Caruso

But also, Bobby is a kick-ass cook. I mean look at him with his big kitchen power tool up there! Power tools in the kitchen? Um, he had me at Hello.

Tyler Florence ~ Not a Fave

Chef Tyler Florence

His show is called Tyler's Ultimate, and clearly, everything he makes is the ultimate anything, in his mind at least.  He's just a little too full of himself, in my opinion. And if I had a dollar for every time he said something he just made was "absolutely fabulous," well, I could probably afford to hire a private chef and not have to watch these shows anymore. Let's face it: there's a fine line between confidence and arrogance. One of those is an attractive quality. The other? Not so much.

Paula Deen ~ Fave

Cook Paula Deen

What is not to like about a fun-loving southern gal who says y'all every minute or two, has dogs that follow her around the kitchen, and whose sons come and cook with her and call her, Mama?  And I also love the way she says oil...with one syllable, like ole instead of oyuhl. She makes cooking fun and she's just as humble as pie, y'all. She takes a lot of flack for cooking like a true southern lady, with lots of butter and fat (the flavor lives there, don'tcha know). She's not exactly the most health-minded of cooks, but she doesn't pretend to be either. And I'll never forget her response to that issue that she gave on one of her shows. She said, "Honey, I ain't your doctor...I'm your cook!" You tell 'em, Paula! I just love that lady and would absolutely love to cook with her, which I can now do in my Paula Deen signature cookware. ;)

Giada De Laurentiis ~ Not a Fave

Chef Giada

While I do like a lot of the food that The Boob Lady Giada prepares, I'm not a big fan of the cleavage that is staring me in the face at all times while she prepares it. I get it. She's hot. And yeah, she's clearly the eye candy for the Food Network. But damn, does she not own any shirts at all that don't show off her ample boobage? Considering that it's probably mostly women who watch her show, what is the point of it anyway? She's supposed to be a talented and highly skilled chef, but it seems like she really just wants to be the queen of culinary cleavage on television. Have some class, Giada, and put the girls away. When we say, "show us what you got," we're talking about F-O-O-D.

Rachael Ray ~ Fave

Cook Rachael Ray

I think that with Rachael, you either love her or hate her. I happen to love her. She's funny and enthusiastic, and she's just a real person who doesn't talk to her viewers like they are idiots. And she's not a chef, she's a self-proclaimed cook, so she doesn't have to put on airs. She is just herself, and I like that.

I get tons of recipes off of Rachael's Food Network show, 30 Minute Meals. But I have one major complaint: I've tried several of her recipes and all of them have taken me longer than 30 minutes. Every. Single. One. I tried her Steakhouse Shepherd's Pie recipe over the weekend, and while it was "delish" (as Rachael would say), I set a new record for how long one of her 30 Minute Meals could take: an hour and twenty minutes!

So, Rachael, I love ya, girl. And I'll always keep watching and trying your recipes. But I think your show needs a new title.

30 Minute Meals, My Ass!

Bon Appetit, y'all.