Seen and Heard at Olive Garden

So the Hubs and I went out to eat at The O.G. on Saturday. And it was quite the entertaining day, to be sure. Really, you just never know what you might observe while waiting for your super special Olive Garden coaster-buzzer to alert you of your awaiting table.

For instance, I went into the ladies room to, you know, take care of business.  There were two ladies at the sink, who were still there when I was ready to wash my hands.  One of the ladies was older and brushing her teeth, which is understandable considering what one's mouth tastes like after an artery-blocking-carb-junkie's fix of a meal at The O.G. But she has to hog a lot of sink time in order to take care of her oral hygiene, and that's kind of annoying when you're wanting to wash your hands.  And the other gal, much younger, was finished washing her hands, but was completely fascinated by the faucet that turned on whether the faucet was pushed in either forward or reverse direction. She thought that was the absolute coolest thing ever, and actually thought it was supposed to do that. The older lady asked me to forgive her young friend's pre-occupation with the faucet.

"She's from the country," she told me.

And all I could think was: they don't have broken faucets in the country?

My husband's a plumber, so after I finally got the chance to wash my hands in that fancy city-fied faucet, I couldn't wait to tell him about the ladies room loony I'd just met. But little did I know his adventure in the men's room would top my own.

"The guy next to me, " he told me, "was texting at the urinal."

Now just hold on just one minute here, fella. You're telling me that there was a man juicing his johnson with one hand...and texting with the other?

Texting at the Urinal


Well, now I've heard everything. Granted, at least you can't kill anybody if you're texting while peeing at a urinal. But hey, you are putting other guys at risk of being saturated by your rogue stream should you lose your focus. And that's just poor urinal etiquette, at the very least.

And what on earth is so important that you actually have to text someone midstream anyway? Trust me, fella, nothing is that important. They can wait a minute while you finish.

I also have to wonder...what if he left the bathroom without washing his hands? And what if he returned to his table, where his lovely girlfriend was

I think I've made my point. And hopefully it will make you think twice the next time your beau heads to the restroom with his cellphone, eh?

But just as a final thought on texting while peeing, here's a snippet from an interview with Brad Pitt from Wired magazine, which includes his thoughts on talking on the phone and texting in the bathroom.

“No, you can’t talk on the phone!” Pitt tells the magazine. “Do you want the guy next to you to hear your entire conversation?

“That’s why you should only text in the bathroom. Just be sure you don’t hit the wrong button and end up putting a photo of your junk on Twitter. Trust me, you don’t want those followers.”

Amen, Brad. Amen.