Friday Flip-Offs

Friday Flip Offs Logo

This will be my very first Friday Flip-Offs post, and I'm beyond ready for it this week! This will be a semi-regular feature at Tinalicious, inspired by the Kludgy Mom Blog, which I love. It's just a way to vent and get rid of your "weekday angst," by virtually flipping someone (or something) off.  And it's a blog hop too, so you can visit other blogs that are featuring Friday Flip-Offs posts. How can you not love that?

I've also created my own Friday Flip-Offs feature image. Being a Michael Jackson fan, I do have images of MJ flipping the bird--usually to the stalkerazzi (and seriously, who could blame him?!). There's an awesome one though that is a still from his Scream video that would have been just perfect for this feature.  But while I love featuring photos of the King of Pop, I didn't want to post such a blatantly negative one on a regular basis. So I managed to find a great pic of MJ from one of his Bad tour performances. And he just happens to be, quite inadvertently, I'm sure, flipping the bird. So that's what I'm using. [His finger is blurry, so hey, it seems a lot less in-your-face that way, but still gets the, ahem, point across. ;) }

So anyhoots, here's my very first Friday Flip-Offs post.

To Sunflower Thieves: FLIP OFF! When you hack off and steal a sunflower that was started from seed by a six-year-old, and was only one of 3 to survive, you are beneath contempt. You are, in fact, pond scum...which is actually rather an insult to other pond scum. But it's true nonetheless.

To Baby Wipes that Won't Separate: FLIP OFF! If I am holding a baby's butt away from a diaper filled with doodie with one hand, I need to be able to separate and grab baby wipes with the other hand. So why do you make that so difficult to do?  Do you even know the consequences of your damned inseparable baby wipes? No? Well, I'll tell you:  babies reach behind  during the minutes-long effort to extract said baby wipes and grab themselves a nice big handful of Poo.  And do you know where babies like to put their hands? [OK, my granddaughter didn't put her hand in her mouth today during this very real poo-poo experience, but she could have, so my point is still valid.]

To Cable Companies with Ever-Changing Channel Line-ups: FLIP OFF! Just when I get used to where all my favorite channels are, you go and change them. Yeah, sure, you said you're adding more and more channels, so I guess I'm supposed to feel lucky. But a) luck has nothing to do with paying $70 a month to watch those channels; and b) I didn't ask for all those extra channels anyway, and many of them are duplicates of channels we already have.  Oh, and on a side note flip-off, your Channel Lineup brochure should come with a magnifying glass. If the print were any smaller, it would be invisible. And it might as well be since I can't read it anyway. Are you telling me you can afford to add all those new channels, but you can't afford to print your brochure on paper large enough for the text to be, um, readable? Yeah, I guess that might be asking too much.

To Victoria's Secret Commercials: FLIP OFF! You know, I don't watch television to feel inadequate. Nor do I want my husband to watch it to realize just how inadequate I might be. So when you're parading half-naked women around in their underwear repeatedly during each airing of Project Runway, you aren't exactly helping my cause.  My husband doesn't even like Project Runway, so he often reads while I watch it. But I am keenly aware of his eyes as they peek over the top of the book  during commercial breaks, in a not-so-subtle move to view those VS models in "the most comfortable bra ever." Whatevs. So, you say, why don't I just change the channel? Well that sounds easy enough. But in the time it takes me to try to read the small print on the Channel Lineup brochure (since the channel lineup has just changed...again), the commercials are already over. So it's pointless from the get-go.

There now, I feel ever so much better after my first Friday Flip-Offs. It's like therapy. With Michael Jackson. And the virtual finger.