They F*ck You at the Drive Thru

McDonalds Drive Thru

As I went through the Mickey D's drive thru yesterday to grab a quick and fattening-but-oh-so-tasty lunch, I placed my usual order:

McDouble, no onions

Large Fries

Sweet tea, no ice

Yes, I'm one of those people, the ones who want to break away from the default not-so-fast-food preparation and get it my own way. It's not because I'm trying to be a pain though I don't really care if I am one. I just want what I want, is that so bad? I mean, I am paying for it, so it seems I should get what I'm paying for, no?

I don't get onions because they give me bad breath. I don't like onion breath. On me or anyone else.

And I don't get ice in my tea because if I do, then the cup is 2/3 full of ice and only 1/3 full of tea. That's just not good economics, in my humble opinion. Why pay for ice? If I want ice, I'll add it when I get home. But it's tea, people. And hot, warm or cold, it still tastes like tea. So going sans ice is no problemo for this chick.

Anyhoots. I always watch the order screen as I place my order at Mickey D's. When I say "no onions," then "no onions" shows up on the screen. And ditto when I say "no ice" in the Sweet Tea. That's just visual confirmation that I am indeed going to get what I ordered. But yesterday, when the gal took my order, I did not see "no ice" under my order of Sweet Tea. So, just to be clear, I repeated it for her: "and no ice in that Sweet Tea, please." To which she replies, "yes, OK."

So I pull up to the 1st window, which still amazes me is in use, by the way, for the simple fact that it was put to use as a means to speed up the "fast food" process. But I personally haven't noticed any change in pace at the drive thru since the extra window's implementation, so what is the point? But I paid for my order and pulled ahead and waited (naturally) for my food and beverage.

The giddy gal at window #2 [and why is she so giddy if she works at Mickey D's?] hands me my Sweet Tea. And what is that noise I hear inside my decidedly un-eco-friendly styrofoam cup? Um, that's right. It's ICE. So, being that I'm one of those people, I promptly hand my environment-killing cup back to her and say, "I requested this with no ice. Twice, in fact." And as I did so, I couldn't help but flashback to one of my all time favorite 80's movie moments. It's from Lethal Weapon 2. The Drive Thru scene. Where Joe Pesci's character, Leo Getz, lays the much needed smack down on drive thru service everywhere. And I literally laughed out loud, right there in my car.

If you've seen it, you know what I'm talking about, but if you haven't, you have to see the clip. [CAUTION: Rampant F-Bombs Ahead!]

That scene with Leo still gets me every time I see it. He is oh so right. They F*ck You at the Drive Thru. But thanks to Leo, I always check my order, before I drive away.

I'm sure the drive thru gal thought I was insane, sitting there laughing to myself in my car.  But she pretended not to notice and apologized for the fast food faux pas with my tea as she handed me a new one, without ice. And I'm equally sure she had a good laugh herself with a co-worker or two after I drove away.

Coworker, to the snickering drive thru gal: What is so funny?

Drive thru gal: Nothing. Just one of those people.